I can feel it. I’m not sure where it’s coming from. It whispers in my ear. I ignore it, but it keeps nagging. Buzzing. Humming in the background.
It never stops.
“Pack up,” the voice says, “and move on.”
I thought I got used to it. It was always there, blending in with the medley that is my life. It’s weird – the more I try to ignore it, the more I pretend it isn’t there, the louder it becomes. It’s now a deafening roar that I just can’t ignore anymore.
Hesitantly, I ask:
“Really…? Why me? Why now? Things are going ok for me. Kind of.”
The reassuring, quiet response is immediate:
“Let’s go. You know it’s the right thing to do. Get ready and let’s hit the road. We’ll sort it out later.”
I’m not convinced.
“But what… why? It’s not that bad here after all. Hey, it’s not perfect, I know. But it’s mine. Who knows what’s waiting for me out there, or how long it will take? Who knows if I’ll even make it? You know how dangerous it can get. There are no guarantees.”
The voice listens patiently.
“I hear you,” it says softly, “thanks for sharing. Let me know when you’re done packing. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
But I’m not ready to go down without a fight.
“Sure… but why make a mess? What’s so urgent? Let me get some sleep… I’ll see you around.”
The voice doesn’t respond. It just smiles. It knows it will win. Not because it’s stronger, but because it’s the truth. You can ignore the truth for a little while, but you can’t deny it forever.
It knows that with all of my excuses and my fears, what I really want is to wake up and dump my destructive habits and useless routines behind.
It knows that I wish to escape the place that keeps me enslaved by forces that limit and weaken me, and move on to a place where I can dream again. Where I can live again. Where I can be the light I already know that I am.
The voice knows I’m willing to follow it in the desert, through the heat of day and cold of night, as long as it shows me the way.
Some say the voice is hearing things. They say it has a wild imagination. But I know it’s true. I know the voice will show me the path if I’m willing to trust it. If I’m willing to move ahead with courage and determination. If I’m willing to let go.
I’m not always trusting. I’m scared to death sometimes. But in this desert, only the voice holds the flashlight – so I choose to stay close. It will always lead me to the right place for me, even if I can’t see it at first.
Sometimes I can feel the voice passing through me. Sometimes it feels like I am the voice. I’m not sure.
It doesn’t matter.
P.S.
The voice in response:
“It’s really nice what you wrote here about us. Now just let me know when you’re done packing.”