A road to discovery

2019 kicked my ass.  You read that correctly, and just to be clear I will say it again.  2019 KICKED MY ASS!  In 2019 I was faced with the realization that my closest relationships were not at all what I thought they were, and it shattered me down to my core.  For as long as I can remember there were certain individuals that I trusted with my heart and soul. For me, trust is not easily given but rather earned over a long period of time. I remember feeling lost, and to a certain extent I felt numb.  I can recall waking up one morning to go to work and saying to myself just hold it together, take it one day at a time.  I walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, walked into the closet and fell to my knees.  I remember thinking to myself, this isn’t you, you are better than this.  And the more I tried to pull myself together, the more I wept.  I had one of those cries where the harder I cried the more I let go.  In that moment I grieved for a reality I no longer had, and for a me who no longer existed.  It was in that moment, I realized who I was destined to become.  It was then that I decided that 2019 would be my year of NO!  NO to doing things simply for the sake of doing them.  NO to committing to things that did not serve my interest. NO to being the one that does it all, simply because I possess a particular skill set.  This is the year I embraced who I am down to my core.   By saying No, I was positioning myself to say YES.  YES, to self-actualization, and YES to knowing my self-worth and charging accordingly.  I relinquished the idea that things had to be a certain way or happen in a certain order. In a sense I gave up the need to control as much as I could. I embraced the fact that I don’t have all the answers, and things don’t have to happen the way I had envisioned. The more I allowed the Universe to guide me, the more possibilities were presented on my path. Starting my own business became a reality, and new friendships began to organically blossom. Because of this my relationships grew stronger and better than they ever were before. By saying No, I was saying YES. This has made me more open and receptive to the endless possibilities that the Universe has in store for me. Stay tuned because there is so much more to me. I am FREE2BE!