So, recently I was scrolling online and I came across this book written by Ashish Bagrecha, called “Dear Stranger I Know How You Feel” this book is so outspoken as it talks about life experiences people face each and every day. The part that really resonated with me is the chapter on friendship and how it really teaches you to value that one or two dear friends that you have and if you don’t have one, it will really make you rethink. I liked the piece and am recommending it. Here its what it says;
Dear Stranger,
You were told when you left home to go to school that you would make friends.
When you came home, often feeling sad or lonely, you were told to make
friends. But I know that finding friends who last, and finding people who help
hold you up, can be difficult. Not everyone is lucky enough to find true
friendships early in life, but this does not mean that you won’t find them. Once
we reach adulthood, it can be difficult to find ways to build connections; we no
longer have spaces like school where we encounter like-minded people. Some of
us, including me, find it hard to go out and forge new connections with other
people.
But don’t give up hope; try and put yourself out there. If you feel lonely, try
joining a gym or taking a class you are interested in. Try open mic nights, if you
enjoy music. Go to yoga classes. Join a football team. Attend poetry readings.
Volunteer to work for a charity. Participate in community events. Try getting an
allotment and connect with other gardening enthusiasts. There are routes out
there for all of us. We just have to try.
True friends are hard to come by, but it isn’t impossible to find them. Don’t settle
for toxic relationships. Your friends should keep you smart—encouraging you to
learn more, do more, be more. To keep up with them, to have a meaningful
relationship where you are both on the same level, you must actively seek out
knowledge and experiences. Together, you should help each other expand your
intellect and progress together. Search for people who lift you up when you need
it, rather than those who shut you down. Take the time to thank them for all that
they have done for you.
Friends can help you survive devastating health issues and pull you through your
darkest days. When you are supported, when you know without a shadow of a
doubt that there are people who are prepared to carry you through your sickness,
you have a greater chance at survival. Your career will flourish because of your
friends. They will encourage you by pushing you to take chances you wouldn’t
normally take. Because of your friends, a promotion you wouldn’t have bothered
to apply for, could now be yours. They will support you while you quit your bad
habits and cheer you on from the side-lines when you run your first mile.
Your
true friends only want what is best for you. Listen to them; accept that they are
not criticising you. Listen with an open mind, to avoid conflict with the people
who care about you most. Accept that they are guiding you towards becoming
the best version of you. Let them lead you, but do not always be led. Accept the
guidance and the support as another opportunity to feel loved and valued. Your
friends are your family, so maybe take a moment today to tell them you love
them.
Friends will teach you more about yourself than you know. My closest friends
have taken the time to get to know me on a deep level, and I will forever be
grateful for the times they have been able to save me from myself. I’m sure you
feel the same way too, dear stranger. They have chosen to have you in their lives,
and they have chosen to keep you in their lives. They know your strengths and
your weaknesses, and they know how to help you overcome your problems.
Meaningful friendships will help you re-evaluate your life.
These friends are
capable of providing you with insights about yourself without being critical and
hurtful because they know exactly what triggers you. When the negative
relationship you were in breaks down, they will hold your hand and pass you
tubs of ice cream while you watch ridiculous rom-coms about failed love. And
they will be there to tell you when it is time to stop mourning the loss of
someone who did not deserve you in the first place. They will take you out and
distract you while your heart heals, and they will be there to celebrate your new
relationships. True friends are the ones you take shopping with you when you
want an honest opinion. They are the ones who buy you the vanilla latte while
you lament about being fat.
These are the people who grow through life with us, and no matter how much we
change, or where we are, they remain imprinted in our hearts. My friends have
managed to keep me sane; I’m sure yours have also had to bring you back from
the brink of insanity. True friends are those we grow old with. The ones we tell
stories about to our grandchildren, and those we share dreams with about our
children falling in love and having their own families, making our bonds even
stronger. My friends and I reminisce about the days when we were young and
careless, about how we played games and danced in our bedrooms to distract
ourselves from the dramas that came with teenage angst.
They’re the ones who
walk with us down the aisle, the first to visit us when our kids are born, and the
ones who help us stay when we want to leave. And as we grow into the twilight
of our lives, they are the ones who support us through the loss of our loved ones.
They will draw comfort from you in their losses too, as you do from them.
Give your friends love and treasure them. Find in each other the wisdom you
have been seeking. Be a pillar of support in their life and they could be yours.
Encourage openness and honesty. Avoid petty arguments. And if you do ever
find yourselves in conflict, listen without judgement. Love them unconditionally
and work through your disagreements with grace. Do not choose a path of drama
and hurt. Find compassion and empathy for one another and work on fixing
things. Just as they help you repair the damages in your life, help them deal with
theirs, and work together to resolve issues.
Every day can be another opportunity for you to build strong friendships and
create bonds with others that enrich your world and allow you to feel connected.
Take each day as another chance to be a great friend to the people you love, and
to accept kindness and friendship in return.
~From your friend forever~