I meant well. Truly I did. I think it had something to do with my obsession with Windex. Windex is the answer for many cleaning opportunities. When I saw my mom’s glasses, I knew. Windex to the rescue. We were having a lovely meal at home. Suddenly, I thought it would be a terrific idea to Windex my mom’s reading glasses. They looked dirty. She was grateful. We had a lovely pasta dinner at home and happy memories from when my dad was alive.
I sprayed the Windex. What? Something snapped. What is it? Looking. Searching. Crawling around on the floor. Looking for something. What? The nose guard broke off. Searching the floor on hands and knees, I find the plastic nose protector near the dishwasher. Thinking back, did it know it needed cleaning?
My mom loves to read, do crossword puzzles and to paint. Now, she will not be able to do any of this. Why? Windex. Yes, Windex is surely to blame. Too strong for its own good. Hmm…Maybe not. I reflected. I pondered. I wanted to blame someone. Something. Windex? No, I thought it over and the small asymmetrical plastic see-through nose guard was a goner. How long could it last. Plastic against Windex? No comment.Fast forward.
I went to Acme for the “eyeglass repair kit”. You know, you notice it…online while checking out. You see it. A small cylindrical impulse purchase for $5.49. I called Acme to confirm they had it, that and a book of stamps. Did they still carry stamps? My mom was my priority. She would not be able to do all she loves without those glasses.
What was I thinking? Cleaning them? With Windex? I was guilt ridden. Returning from Acme last Sunday feeling triumphant with the repair kit, I set to work. I watched two YouTube videos on how to replace the nose guard. Who knew that replacing a nose guard was this complicated?
I followed the video and was ecstatic when the tiny screw popped out of the glass frame. I felt like celebrating this little screw removal. I quickly found out I would have to replace the tiny screw. Has anyone seen my thumbs? Shhh! I have giant thumbs. Thumbs good for squashing bugs, but certainly not for getting a tiny screw into an eyeglass frame. Bad thumbs? but good eyes.
I was able to insert the new nose guard, but I had to pick up this teeny tiny screw and put it in this almost imaginary hole and then use a screwdriver to secure the nose guard, What? Hello? Land of the Giant thumbs???My mom was a good sport.
She alternated between wearing Scotch tape or a Band-aid on the bridge of her nose so the metal frame of the glasses did not cut her. Patiently waiting for me to repair the reading glasses. Four days later…
Today, we worked together with our $5.99 purchase from Amazon to replace the missing nose guard. We tried and tried but could not fit the tiny screw to attach the nose guard. Enter the Giant Thumbs! Mom could have helped but needed said reading glasses to see…Finally, I suggested a toothpick. Screw be gone! Enter the yellow toothpick!Voila! Perfection. Not.
We laughed so hard that we cried. She tried to wear the glasses with the yellow toothpick, We talked about cutting the toothpick. We were howling with laughter so that we forgot about the glasses. That yellow toothpick was our Saturday Night Live, on a Friday during COVID. I love you mom!
