Mothers, Fathers, Teachers and Preachers
We are programmed from our earliest days by the authority figures around us — Mothers, Fathers, Teachers and Preachers (MFTP), or basically anyone we looked up to or who held a status above us.
The ideas and beliefs planted by them became so deeply ingrained that, without question, they seem to be true to us today.
If you are super fortunate, your programming included concepts of love, acceptance, forgiveness and being good enough.
I have the feeling, however, that was not the case for many of us.
I grew up in the Italian half of my family.
I have no idea if my experience was typical of Italian culture in general, or just the culture of my own Italian extended family, but every child heard a regular chorus of “What’s the matter with you!” from the male relatives.
Fathers, grandfathers, and uncles were quick to hurl this angry question at anyone.
Quite often, the insult was doled out after doing something that would be expected of a child.
Squishing the bread the first time you used a bread knife, overcooking the potatoes, or interrupting during a television show all earned a “what’s the matter with you!”.
It was probably such an automatic response, that no one stopped to think about what it was like to be on the receiving end of it.
Maybe this outburst was intended to teach kids a better way to do things, but it very likely taught the kids to shut up, to doubt themselves, or to get angry or defensive.
Instead, at our core, could we really be perfect?
The negative imprinting we experience in our formative years can make it feel almost unbelievable or impossible that we were created whole and complete.
That we are always in our perfect place. That we are good enough.
Don’t Hate Me for Saying it, You are in your Perfect Place
I hear a lot of people expressing a common sense of angst. It goes something like this:medium.com
That there is nothing “the matter” with any of us.
Deep in our being, at the very core of who we are and how we were created, nothing is wrong with us.
Yes, we make mistakes, and we don’t always act our best, but we are not defective.
Once we realize this, it is our life’s work to continually improve at demonstrating this inner perfection and to see it in others.
As the youngest in the family, I tended to be the most feisty. That probably earned me the most what’s the matter with yous, but it also gave me the gumption, at a very young age, to answer back, “Nothing is the matter with me.”
So, in case no one has ever told you before, I will tell you now — there is nothing the matter with you. Believe it, know it, and get out there and demonstrate it in your life.
As ever, I wish you all the best!
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Originally published at medium.com