We live in an overworked society, where many of us wear productivity and busy as badges of honor. One of the most common things I hear from my life coaching clients is, “I don’t know how to slow down,” coupled with “I’m exhausted all the time.”

If you feel like you’re not where you’re supposed to be, off track or simply exhausted from trying so hard to make things work, it could be because you are an over-giver. Many of us are tired emotionally, physically and spiritually because we are there for everyone else and over-give. We want to help the people we care about and make a difference, so we give our time, resources, energy and even money. But we sometimes do this at the sacrifice of ourselves. In order to truly take care of others, we must first show up for our self. This is why I gathered a few easy steps you can take to help you regain your power and feel good from the inside out. If you find yourself exhausted and want to take your power back, these tips from my new book Joy Seeker can help you get centered, balanced and feel more instant relief.

One of the most overlooked ways we become disconnected from our joy is by overextending ourselves. You’re probably a lot like me: You have a big heart, and you care deeply about those around you. You want to help and support those you love. Giving of your time, money, and energy is a beautiful thing, but sometimes we over-give at the expense of ourselves. If you find yourself over-giving and are experiencing compassion fatigue, these methods can help.

1. Set Boundaries

As Shonda Rhimes says in her book Year of Yes, “No is a complete sentence.” Learning how to say no and set personal boundaries can help you reclaim your power and feel more balanced.

2. Step Up Your Self-Care Routine

Self-care is not just drinking green juice and doing yoga daily. It can be your mental self-care routine, your physical, emotional and spiritual routine, too. Look at each bucket of your life and create a self-care routine to help support the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual sides of you.

3. Connect with Your Inner Child

We all have hidden sources of energy and healing power, things we loved to do as a kid such as draw, paint or play in nature. Do more of this as an adult and let yourself be in the beauty of the moment.

4. Pause in Your Pleasure

Nurture yourself by putting activities in your schedule that are sources of pleasure, joy and diversion. Allow yourself to take mini-escapes. These relieve the intensity of your life and allow you to be present with your own true self. Focus on purpose and passion. When you identify the things that fuel you, the things that you have true passion for, your fatigue can disappear.

5. Find Ways to Acknowledge Your Own Unhealed Loss and Grief

As a big-hearted person, you may be helping others as a subconscious way to cope with your own loss and grief. Let yourself grieve and give yourself permission to feel all the feelings associated with loss. If you need to see a professional — a life coach or therapist — please seek this support as it can help heal the pain.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

To prevent or recover from compassion fatigue, take time for self-reflection, identify what’s important, and live in a way that reflects it. Be kind to yourself with kind words and nurturing activities.

7. Automatic Write

Sit down with your journal and ask a question, such as, What do I need right now? Or, What is the best way to care for myself? And let yourself write. Don’t edit, just let it flow. Do this for five to ten minutes a day to really establish a strong relationship with yourself and intuition.

This is an excerpt from Joy Seeker: Let Go of What’s Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Were Made For by Shannon Kaiser,  published by Citadel, an imprint of Kensington Press. Copyright 2019.

Originally published on SheKnows.

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