Through New Eyes: How Author Cyndee Dhalai Transformed Grief Into Healing and Hope

Grief is a journey that transforms us, challenges us, and ultimately reveals the strength we never knew we had. In this deeply moving interview, we sit down with Cyndee Dhalai—author of Grief is the Price You Pay for Love—whose life has been marked by unimaginable challenges, including chronic illness, estrangement, and the sudden loss of her beloved husband. Yet through all of it, Cyndee found a voice—a powerful one—through writing. Her raw, heartfelt storytelling and poetry have touched readers around the world, offering hope, healing, and a reminder that even in our darkest hours, we are never truly alone.

In this conversation, Cyndee opens up about her life’s journey with remarkable honesty and grace. She shares how she navigated rejection, debilitating illness, and grief, not by seeking to “move on,” but by learning how to move forward while carrying it all with her. With wisdom gained through hardship, Cyndee explains how writing became her sanctuary, her form of healing, and ultimately her way of giving back. Her words will not only resonate with those who are grieving but will inspire anyone facing adversity to reclaim their strength, honor their story, and rediscover their purpose.

Thank you so much for joining us, Cyndee! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Absolutely. My life has been a whirlwind of challenges and unexpected turns. I grew up in a traditional East Indian household where conformity was expected, and I didn’t quite fit in. I was labeled the “troubled” child simply because I questioned things. Later, I chose to marry someone outside of my religion and was disowned by my family and community. My husband and I started from nothing, worked hard, and built a life together. But then, illness struck—I was diagnosed with lupus, serositis, chronic kidney disease, anemia, and more. The medications meant to help me made things worse. I flatlined multiple times. Eventually, I was in a wheelchair. To make things harder, my husband passed away unexpectedly on Christmas Eve in 2021. That was the darkest time in my life, but it also led me to rediscover my voice through writing.

How did your cultural upbringing shape your personal struggles and growth?
Growing up in a traditional environment meant adhering to specific expectations, especially as a woman. Questioning the norm was frowned upon, and being different was seen as rebellious. I always felt like an outsider. But in hindsight, that resistance helped me forge my own path. It forced me to find strength within, to defy societal judgments, and ultimately, to define my own sense of identity and purpose. Being disowned taught me how to stand alone and still believe in myself.

You mentioned flatlining several times due to medication—how did you cope emotionally with such life-threatening experiences?
It was terrifying. Imagine taking medicine that’s supposed to help, and instead, your heart stops. Each time it happened, I came closer to accepting that my life was hanging by a thread. But I never questioned, “Why me?” I’ve always believed in a higher power, not necessarily through religion but spirituality. That belief anchored me. I knew there had to be a greater purpose, something beyond what I could understand. So I kept going, even when it didn’t make sense to. I leaned into faith when logic had no answers.

How did the death of your husband change your outlook on life?
It shattered me. I was the one everyone thought wouldn’t survive because of my illnesses, yet I lived—and he didn’t. The emotional pain was indescribable. And to make things worse, some people blamed me for being alive. One relative even asked why I didn’t die instead. That moment was surreal. But it taught me something profound: life is unpredictable and fragile. I had to find purpose again, not just to survive but to live with intention. Losing him forced me to reimagine my existence from scratch.

One of your relatives even asked why you didn’t die instead. How did you respond?
In that moment, I was numb, but I found strength. I simply said, “Maybe you should ask God, because I never asked Him why I’m still here.” That moment cut deep, but it also pushed me to draw a clear boundary. Since then, I’ve had no contact with people who bring that kind of negativity. I learned that sometimes, self-preservation means letting go of relationships that do more harm than good.

How did writing help you navigate through grief?
Writing was my refuge. It became the space where I could process my pain without judgment. Sometimes, we can’t talk to people because they just don’t understand what we’re going through. Writing let me speak my truth—to pour out every emotion, every thought, every unanswered question. It helped me face my grief head-on. Seeing the words on paper made it real, but it also made it manageable. It was a form of therapy—raw, honest, and healing.

Your book combines poetry and narrative storytelling. How did you decide on that format?
It wasn’t a conscious decision. Poems started flowing through me, and I simply followed the rhythm. I didn’t worry about whether books were “supposed” to have poetry interwoven. This was how I processed my emotions. So I allowed the poetry to coexist with the prose. It made the book more authentic, more me. I didn’t rewrite or censor myself—what you read is what poured out of my soul during some of my darkest and most reflective moments.

What themes do you explore in your book Grief is the Price You Pay for Love?
The central themes are grief, loss, inner strength, self-discovery, and the journey of healing. But beyond that, it’s about the complexity of human emotion—how love, pain, hope, and acceptance are intertwined. I explore what it means to lose someone who was your world, and how to find yourself again in the aftermath.

What do you hope readers take away from your book?
I want readers to feel understood. I want them to know they’re not alone in their grief or pain. That it’s okay to feel deeply, to mourn loudly, and to take their time healing. But most of all, I want them to know that life doesn’t end with loss—it transforms. You don’t “move on” from grief; you move with it. And that’s okay.

What advice would you give someone experiencing deep grief or trauma?
First, accept yourself as you are—flaws, pain, and all. Don’t shame yourself for how you feel. Take time every day to check in with yourself. Ask, “How am I today?” Give yourself the same love and compassion you give others. And focus on what you can do, even if it’s just getting out of bed or making yourself a meal. Little victories are still victories. Grief is not a weakness—it’s proof that you’ve loved deeply.

How can people begin to create space around their grief?
You create space by acknowledging that grief never really leaves. Instead of trying to erase it, let it sit beside you while you build something new. Maybe that’s a hobby, a new friendship, or even a quiet walk outside. It’s about honoring the memory while still choosing life. Creating space doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making room for joy to exist again.

Do you believe healing from grief is possible?
I believe we learn to manage it. You don’t heal in the way people think—grief becomes part of you. But you expand around it. You begin to find purpose again. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means remembering without breaking every time. It’s choosing to keep going while still honoring what was lost.

What made you finally decide to share your story with the world?
I never thought I’d publish a book about my life. But after writing over 300 poems in a year and pouring my soul into the pages, I felt compelled. People kept encouraging me, saying my story could help others. One day, I just sat down and wrote. It wasn’t planned. It was divine timing, I think. And now, I realize that this book isn’t just mine—it’s a lifeline for others too.

What has been the response from readers so far?
Overwhelming. I’ve had people call me, message me, even cry while reading it. They tell me it’s like I put their emotions into words. One neighbor who lost her husband said, “This is exactly how I feel.” I didn’t expect that kind of connection, but it shows how universal grief is, and how healing it can be to share our truths.

You mentioned you’re working on a new book. Can you tell us about it?
Yes! It’s titled Toxic People Ruin Lives, But Love Does Exist. It explores the impact of toxic relationships and the belief that love, real love, is still possible. I’ve counseled many people over the years, and I’ve seen firsthand how damaging toxic connections can be. But I’ve also seen people rise from that pain and rediscover joy. That’s the message of the next book: don’t give up on love—even when others let you down.

For someone struggling with chronic illness and loss, what would you tell them right now?
You are not your illness. You are not your loss. You are still here—and that means something. Sit with yourself, ask how you’re really feeling, and be honest. Don’t chase external validation. Focus on what brings you joy, no matter how small. Whether it’s journaling, playing with a pet, or enjoying a cup of tea—celebrate those moments. They’re yours.

You use a beautiful metaphor in your book about the five sides of a coin. Can you explain that?
Most people think a coin has two sides, but I say it has five. There’s the front (your future), the back (your past), the rim (your present), and two pieces that weld everything together—your experience and your intention. Life is the same. Your past shapes you, your present holds you, and your dreams pull you forward. The welding—that’s where the soul work happens. That’s how you grow into who you’re meant to be.

What message do you want to leave readers with today?
Nothing in life is worth losing yourself over. You are stronger than you know. Life is unpredictable, but within you is everything you need to navigate it. You might be grieving, broken, or lost—but you’re still here. And that means your story isn’t over. Create space for yourself, for your healing, for your joy. And remember, you were never meant to stay in the darkness. You carry the light, even when you don’t feel it.

How can our readers further follow your work online?
My book Grief is the Price You Pay for Love by Faialian is available on Amazon in paperback, hardcover, and Kindle. You can also visit my author website at www.faialian.com to explore more of my work, including poetry and future updates. I hope that those who read the book find comfort, validation, and strength in its pages.

Cyndee, thank you so much for sharing your powerful journey with us today. Your story, your strength, and your vulnerability are truly inspiring. I know so many people will find comfort and hope through your words and your book. It’s been an absolute honor to have you here.

Thank you so much, Stacey. I’m deeply grateful for the opportunity to share my story. You’ve created such a warm, open space for meaningful conversation. I truly hope my experiences can help others see that even in our darkest moments, there is light, healing, and a path forward. Thank you for having me—it means more than you know.

To purchase Cyndee Dhalai’s powerful book, Grief is the Price You Pay for Love, visit Amazon.