There is a space of time between getting bad news and coming to terms with it. I call it the “Time of Turmoil.”

It could be the end of a relationship, a negative review at work, hearing challenging health news, or a fight with a friend.

This is when we ask ourselves things like…

“Why me?”

“What could I have done differently?”

“Why don’t they like me?”

“What did I do wrong?”

Then at a certain point we decide that life goes on, it won’t matter in five years, it has nothing to do with us, there isn’t anything we could have done, and the closed door might be just what we needed to grow.

I have been working to shorten my “Time of Turmoil” over the years and I have been somewhat successful although it always takes effort. I have read a lot, listened to others, learned from mistakes, realized that facts are different from opinions and that assumptions are never a good idea.

But each time I face a challenge, I have to remind myself to look at the bright side and be open to the lesson. To surrender to the journey. To refuse to waste time on the turmoil and go straight to believing I’m where I’m supposed to be.

Inspirational author Orison Swett Marden said, “The Universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson.” And we can learn it the first time, or we can keep getting the same lesson until we pass the test.

Here’s to shortening our times of turmoil and learning what we need to know to grow.

Photo credit: Dikaseva

Shorten your times of turmoil.

Originally published at on April 26, 2017.

Originally published at


  • Siobhan Kelleher Kukolic

    Mother-of-three. Freelance writer. Author. #HuffPost blogger. Believer in dreams.

    Siobhan Kukolic is a storyteller at heart. She writes to inspire the belief that we have all we need to be the change we wish to see. She recently published her first book, available on Amazon and Indigo. The Treasure You Seek is about following your heart, believing in yourself beyond reason, embracing failure and knowing that you are enough. It includes inspirational stories about famous failures, cultural icons, world leaders and regular folks like you and me. The goal is to remind us that we have all we need to be the change we wish to see. A perfect read for graduates from elementary school through university, people starting their career, changing jobs or retiring, friends going through a medical crisis, new parents, empty nesters and anyone who wants to be inspired. She started her career as a copywriter working on campaigns for organizations including Esso, Mead Johnson Nutrition, Grand & Toy, Labatt, and SC Johnson. While raising her kids, she volunteered as co-chair of her school council for seven years, helped get eight 20-foot maples donated for an eco-classroom and co-ordinated the building of a school peace garden with 115 donated trees and shrubs for Earth Day. She co-founded a not-for-profit movement called Blueberry Shark, named after a healthy fruit and the only animal that doesn't get cancer, with a mission to create the healthiest kids in the world. By providing a voice for those who didn't have one, she rallied enough media attention to help crowd-fund $105,000 in two weeks to pay for an unfunded drug for a mother of two dying of stage-four brain cancer. She also used media attention to nudge the government to change drug coverage policy right before an election and get a $360,000 a year drug covered for a 12-year-old cystic fibrosis patient. Her letters to the editor are frequently published in the National Post and she has represented her neighbourhood by making deputations at city council and the school board. She spends her time blogging, speaking to students and corporations about grit, and juggling the schedules of her three kids as they follow their dreams in competitive Irish dance and ice hockey.