Infertility brings with it trauma and emotional pain. I would dare to say that you can’t have experienced infertility and walk away without being emotionally damaged and needing to recover from trauma. 

Do you have to have experienced infertility to understand what trauma feels like or even understand emotional pain. No. I have said it many times, pain is pain, loss is loss, suffering is suffering. It doesn’t matter what happened to you that caused you to have those experiences and feelings, but one thing is for certain, you are a changed person because of it. 

I changed many times during my fertility experiences—sometimes it was for the better, but sometimes it wasn’t. I didn’t like the jealousy that set in deep within my gut. I didn’t like the resentment I carried around with me. Aside from all the physical trauma my body went through, my belief system took a beating. By the time we completed our last procedure, the person I was before infertility didn’t exist. I had to get to know this new person. Infertility consumed so much of my life for nearly a decade that I didn’t know what I was interested in anymore. I couldn’t even tell you my favorite color. I wasn’t able to plan beyond my toes because I had to reimagine a new life. 

Don’t allow yourself to become a victim. Figure out how you can rise above the circumstances and the situations. See that no one can lift you up—but you. Sure, someone may be able to help show you the way or help change your perspective, but you have to be the one that does the work. 

So what if you aren’t the person you were before the experience, as long as you have seen the lesson in the experience, you are a better person for it.

Written by: Dayna Mohan