It’s all about Trust

I was sitting at my desk when the song “I get by with a little help from my friends” just popped into my head. Written in 1967 by the Beatles it is one of their more enduring and controversial songs (given the debate around its meaning). I got to thinking: Who do you trust? Who do you rely on when things get tough? Who can you call on?

What makes a difference is reaching out!

I found myself “stuck” today and in need of “a hand” and a soundboard. Conversations inside of your head do not sound the same as when you speak them outloud. Fun Fact: It has something to do with the structure of the head, something to do with bone conduction and also how we hear ourselves.

What makes a difference is reaching out and being heard. I needed a little help from my friends so I called four people in quick succession and did not stop until I got what I needed. The fourth answered, God, bless her soul, and I got what I needed. Here is what’s interesting though. In the meantime, while I was on the phone to the lucky fourth person who responded in my moment of need, the other three called back!

I thought to myself, “I’m so lucky!”

My next thought was, “How did this happen?”

Trust is earned!

Here’s what I came up with. I’ve taken the time to build a group of supportive people around me and I give as good as I get! These people know who I am. There is no pretence, no judgement and a high level of trust is present among us. I’ve worked in organizations that espoused trust is something you just “give” like it is something that is automatic. I didn’t agree with that view then. And I certainly do not agree with it now! It just doesn’t make sense to me, I love my son dearly and there are definitely things I would not trust him with. He hasn’t demonstrated that he can be trusted such things as crossing a busy street by himself or getting all of his homework done without being asked. Likewise, I am very clear about who I can trust with what.

Trust has levels to it

We all have people in our life “like that”! Don’t we? I can put my hand on my heart and say there is NO ONE in my life that I do not want in it. I only have people in my life I cherish and have a deep mutual respect for. One of my favourite movies of all time is “The torch song trilogy” Here’s a quote from that movie:

“There is nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect.

And anyone who can’t give me those two things has no place in my life.”

Harvey Fierstein

So “getting by with a little help from my friends” has a lot to do with “who those friends are”.  Friends who take You as You are and for whom You are mean you can just BE  and that is one of life’s greatest gifts.