The definition of relationship is the distance between two things. Most of us do not set out to have distance between us and our partners. However, many times after the initial infatuation phase of a new relationship, people move into maintaining it, rather than creating it. From there, the relationship goes on autopilot which never works out in the end. If a relationship is not growing it is dying. Instead of maintaining your relationship, you can turn your relationship into a creationship by consciously making it into something you both choose together. Something better, bigger and more wonderful than the day before.
If you would like something that is fun, exciting and inviting with your partner, here are three tips to get you started on the path of choosing having a creationship:
1. Ask, “What’s the most important thing to me?
Chances are you were taught that in relationships you have to sacrifice yourself. You are “supposed” to give up everything that is important to you in order to prove that you care. The opposite is actually true. If you don’t include you in the relationship, if you don’t create your life the way you’d like it to be, your relationship will be unhappy at best.
Here are some questions you can ask:
- What would I like my life to be like in five years?
- What is it that’s most important to me?
- What brings me joy?
- If I was choosing what was fun for me, what would I change/choose?
Being clear on what you desire as your life and choosing that, is a big part of creationship. Commit to you. Commit to your life. Demand of yourself that no matter what it takes and no matter what it looks like, I will create what I desire.
2. Daily Choosing
A relationship begins because we choose it. We choose a particular person as our partner. We choose what we would like our relationship to be like. Often, that active choosing goes away and we start to exist in the relationship. And, if we are not actively choosing our relationship, we are not in creationship.
Want to change it? Ask every day, does this work for me today? This is not necessarily about leaving, but if you ask a question you get information and clarity if there is something you would like to change, so then you can address that. Talk to your partner, create together, grab a bottle of wine and say “hey can we chat and create a few things together?”
Daily choosing to be in your relationship stops the autopilot that often occurs and brings you back to the creativity, fun and excitement that was there in the beginning.
3. Ask
Creationship is that place where you are always looking at what you can create greater. A good creationship is one in which you and your partner are able to create 20% more in your lives than you would if you were not together. Ask for that. Ask, “What can we do or be different today that would create something greater?”
Ask each other questions too. “What would be fun to create? What is something we have been wanting to talk about that we haven’t had time? Where do we desire this relationship to be in two years and what choices could we make today to start creating this today?”
Questions open the door to new possibilities. Ask. Receive. Choose gratitude. Ask for more.
Creationship is this continuous contribution to each other. If you are not always in the creative energy of a relationship, you will get bored. Clarify what is important to you and choose it. Daily choose your partner as if it was the very first day of your relationship. Ask for what you desire. Start your creationship today and create the future you desire for tomorrow.