Each and every one of us at one time have gone through what we perceived as something insurmountable. Perhaps we went through a breakup, maybe we lost a job, we lost a loved one, there were times when we thought of giving up, we just wanted the pain to end, we didn’t know how we would make it through another day, but somehow, we did.
There was a time when I wasn’t the person who stands before you. My faith and my patience had been tried and tested time and time again. I had opportunities put in front of me where I had to make a quick decision, and yes, I have faced depression, illness, poverty, almost homelessness, unemployment, reverse racism (it’s a thing), I had to sever ties with several people over the years, betrayal that cuts like a knife, heartache that makes you kneel, and three years ago, I too, wanted to make the pain to go away. I used to go for long walks around my neighborhood, living in the pacific northwest, taking in the beautiful land and the wildlife, I began to notice little things, like ducks and geese swimming in the little lakes here and there, I saw their spirit and determination in simply getting through high water and caring for their young, every day they were out there, rain or shine, living, and that is what I learned to do. I noticed all the simple things, the little daisies that would grow amongst the weeds, insignificant, hidden, but there for people who took the time to notice. I was that little flower, tucked amongst tall grasses that no one could really see, except for eyes that looked for me. I began to realize that I too had a purpose, a reason for living, something that I could contribute. Life had beaten me down, but I started being grateful for what it taught me, and I began to use what I had learned to help other people, to help them see the possibility in what might look impossible. I used what I had available to me, my voice, my skills; I took a talent and little by little turned it into a career.
When you sit and ask yourself “what did I learn” you will begin to see the strength you have gained, you will realize the determination you had. Can you talk about your pain? Can you turn it around so that it makes sense? If you can speak about it without placing blame and look at it logically, what were your takeaways?
When I am faced with uncertainty, I take a step back. I try to react from logic, rather than emotion. It is a practice. It isn’t something that comes naturally. Yes, I worry too, but I sit myself down and I try to figure it out on paper. I act with intent. I try to look beyond the issue at hand and see what resources are available. When that isn’t possible, I look at the potential outcome, how can I adapt, can I course correct? and yes, I look at the possibility of turning it into an opportunity. I am a woman of faith and have found that through that faith, I can place my worries on something higher, no judgment here, if you believe differently, that’s fine as well, but regardless if it is God, the universe or whatever you might choose to believe in, I know that I’ll get through it. I have learned to reach out and speak my needs, even if it is just aloud to no one in particular, there is a lot to be said in setting your intention. I call it prayer, or meditation, some call it manifestation. I put it out there to the world.
I have become the wildflower, I grow, sometimes unexpectedly, placed somewhere in the middle of roughness, but I have learned to bloom.