“You don’t have to wait for life to change before you start living the life you want. The real transformation begins when you recognize that you have the power to rewrite your story, one small step at a time.”
– Nelanthini Rajesan
In a world where life often feels like a series of relentless challenges, it’s easy to forget that we have the power to be our own heroes. Whether it’s overcoming setbacks, breaking free from self-doubt, or striving toward personal growth, every individual has the potential to embark on a transformative journey. Nelanthini Rajesan, a renowned transformational coach, believes that life can be as epic and empowering as the stories we grew up with—if we’re willing to answer the call to adventure. Drawing inspiration from the timeless hero’s journey portrayed in movies like Moana and Star Wars, Nel helps people turn their struggles into opportunities for profound personal growth.
In this insightful and motivating conversation, Nelanthini delves into the key steps of starting a hero’s journey, from identifying the wake-up call to overcoming self-sabotaging patterns and building a strong support system. She offers actionable advice, shares personal experiences, and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion along the way. Whether you’re looking to improve your relationships, career, or overall well-being, Nel’s guidance will inspire you to take charge of your life and unleash the hero within.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Thank you for having me, Stacey! Ever since I was a child, I’ve been drawn to stories with powerful transformations—think Hercules, Star Wars, and Moana. These tales fascinated me because they showed how ordinary individuals could go through challenges, grow stronger, and ultimately triumph. At some point, I realized that this idea of a “hero’s journey” wasn’t just something you see in movies—it can happen in real life, too. That’s when I decided to become a transformational coach. My mission is to help people see their own potential and guide them in turning life’s obstacles into opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment. I believe everyone has an inner hero, and it’s about learning how to unlock that potential.
What does becoming a hero mean to you?
Becoming a hero means taking responsibility for your own happiness and personal development. It’s about realizing that while external things like relationships, jobs, and material possessions can bring temporary satisfaction, true and lasting fulfillment comes from within. Many people wait for external factors to change before they start living the life they want, but a hero doesn’t wait—they take action. Being a hero is about recognizing that you are in control of your narrative, facing challenges head-on, and creating a life aligned with your values and goals. It’s a commitment to continuous self-improvement, and it starts with understanding that change begins with you.
What’s the first step in embarking on a hero’s journey?
The first step is recognizing your wake-up call. This could be triggered by a significant life event like a breakup, the loss of a job, or even a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction with where you are in life. Sometimes, it’s just a quiet inner voice that keeps whispering, “Something isn’t right, something needs to change.” It’s essential to listen to that voice because that’s the call to step out of your comfort zone and take the first step toward transformation. Acknowledging this wake-up call is what sets your journey into motion.
Why do people often resist their wake-up call?
Fear and limiting beliefs are the biggest reasons people resist change. It’s scary to leave what’s familiar, even if it’s not serving you. People doubt their ability to handle challenges or fear they’ll fail. This resistance is a natural defense mechanism because stepping out of your comfort zone feels risky. However, it’s important to understand that while fear is normal, staying in your current situation out of fear only prolongs your discomfort. Once you realize that growth lies on the other side of fear, you can start to overcome this resistance.
Once someone identifies their wake-up call, what’s next?
The next step is to name your adventure. This might sound playful, but it’s incredibly powerful. Naming your journey gives it meaning and makes it feel real. Instead of vaguely saying, “I want to get healthier,” you could call it “Project Stronger Me” or “Glow-Up 2025.” When you give your journey a name, it becomes a quest with a clear purpose, and that makes it easier to stay motivated. It’s no longer just a goal—it’s an exciting adventure that you’re embarking on with intention.
How do you recommend people avoid falling off track with their goals?
Preparation is key. In any great story, the hero doesn’t just jump into action—they gather the tools and resources they need first. Think of Moana—she didn’t set sail across the ocean without preparing. She sought advice, gathered supplies, and mentally readied herself for the challenges ahead. In real life, this means identifying potential obstacles and creating strategies to overcome them. Recognize the self-sabotaging patterns that might hold you back, set realistic goals, and build supportive habits. A solid foundation helps you stay on track when things get tough.
What are some common self-sabotaging patterns people face?
Some of the most common self-sabotaging patterns include procrastination, fear of failure, perfectionism, and self-doubt. For example, someone might set a goal to lose weight and start off strong, but the moment they have a setback—like skipping a workout or eating something unhealthy—they give up entirely, thinking, “I’ve already failed, so what’s the point?” That all-or-nothing mindset is one of the biggest traps. The key is to recognize these patterns early on and address them before they derail your progress.
How can someone start being honest with themselves about their flaws and areas for growth?
Honesty starts with self-awareness, and one of the best ways to cultivate that is through journaling. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences allows you to reflect and notice patterns in your behavior. Start by asking yourself questions like, “What’s holding me back?” or “What has prevented me from reaching my goals in the past?” This helps you take responsibility for your actions and pinpoint areas for improvement. The goal isn’t to criticize yourself but to gain clarity so you can make better choices moving forward.
You mentioned the importance of mentors in the hero’s journey. Why is having a mentor crucial?
Mentors play a crucial role in every hero’s journey. In stories, heroes like Luke Skywalker and Katniss Everdeen have mentors who guide them, offer wisdom, and help them stay on track. In real life, mentors do the same—they provide guidance, encouragement, and an outside perspective that can be invaluable when you’re facing challenges. A mentor doesn’t have to solve your problems for you, but they can help you see things differently, offer advice, and remind you of your strengths when you feel stuck.
What should someone do if they don’t have a mentor in their life?
Mentors don’t always have to be people you know personally. They can be authors, podcast hosts, or influencers whose content resonates with you. Seek out resources like books, podcasts, and online communities where people share valuable insights. If possible, consider hiring a coach who can offer personalized guidance and accountability. The important thing is to surround yourself with positive influences that inspire you to grow.
How do you help your clients overcome self-sabotage?
I use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to help clients identify and break their self-sabotaging patterns. Together, we develop practical strategies tailored to their needs. This might involve reframing negative thoughts, creating healthier habits, and building a personalized action plan. Over time, clients learn to recognize their triggers and replace harmful behaviors with more constructive ones. It’s a process, but with patience and consistency, real transformation happens.
Can you share a tip for maintaining motivation throughout the journey?
One of the best ways to maintain motivation is to break your journey into small, manageable steps. Focus on what you can do today rather than worrying about the entire process. Small wins build momentum and keep you motivated. Also, don’t forget to celebrate progress, no matter how small—it’s those little victories that keep you moving forward.
What role does self-compassion play in the hero’s journey?
Self-compassion is essential. You’re going to face setbacks—it’s inevitable. The key is to be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Instead of beating yourself up, acknowledge that growth is a process and give yourself credit for trying. When you treat yourself with compassion, it becomes easier to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward.
What services do you offer to help people on their journey?
I offer one-on-one transformational coaching, where I help clients identify their self-sabotaging patterns, set clear goals, and create actionable plans for lasting change. Additionally, I have a book coming out in February titled Gifts of Pain, Volume 3, which provides a step-by-step guide for starting your hero’s journey. It’s designed for anyone ready to take that first step toward personal transformation.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find me on social media under the handle @nel.rajesan. My website, www.nelrajesan.com, has more information about my coaching services and upcoming book. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need guidance—I’m always happy to connect.
Thank you so much for sharing your insights, Nell. This has been such an inspiring conversation!
Thank you, Stacey! It’s always a pleasure.
