Priscilla du Preez on Unsplash

The idea of how you see yourself is formed in childhood. We form this idea of ourselves from the responses and interactions we receive from our parents. From others too, like grandparents, aunts and uncles. Later this expands to teachers and peers.

The culture of performance and competition is unknowingly created by parents and teachers where our worth is measured according to how we please them. When we demonstrate behaviour that pleases them, we are praised. When we do not, we are reprimanded, punished or worst of all, ignored. We learn that we are valued and loved when we perform well and please others.

This then can form an idea that you are amazing, lovely, lovable, the best thing since sliced bread. Or you form the idea that you are not good enough, a mistake, ugly, will never amount to much, unworthy, inadequate, etc.

I believe most people get damaged to some extent during childhood. And we carry that with us and allow that un-resourceful self-image to rule our life in every aspect. We can also decide to change that.

The thing is, more than the actual response towards the child, it is in the perceiving of it by the child. Children see the world in black-or-white or either-or terms. And as children we can personalize things that have nothing to with us.  We interpret things literally and because we are small and everything else is big, we exaggerate things in our mind. Furthermore, we create these exaggerated images and associated thoughts and feelings in our memory bank.

Why am I telling you this? Because how you created your self-image was from a child’s perspective. Most likely the events that happened that led you to create your un-resourceful self-image had nothing to do with you. It was about them – your parents, teachers, etc. You were the receiver of the verbal, emotional or physical abuse of someone else’s mindset.  You were the receiver of the expression of their pain.

However it happened, you cannot change the past. But you do have the choice today to upgrade your self-image to be worthy of you as a perfect expression of Source or God. Often we can let a poor self-image become a comfort zone and excuse for not rising up to meet our soul-purpose. You can become addicted to being a victim, to the drama of scarcity and lack, that it subconsciously becomes your identity.

Here’s what you need to know about your self-image. It is the driver and gatekeeper to the success that you will experience in terms of every aspect of your life – money, business, relationships and health.  According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics, we cannot rise above the idea we hold of ourselves.

How do you do upgrade your self-image? By teaching your body-mind the new emotional experience of who you want to be. By creating a new self-image, you create a new personality comprising of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, words and actions that demonstrate this New You.

First, create a list of how you wish to think about yourself.

  • What is the most ideal self-image you would like to have?
  • How would you think about you?
  • How would that make you feel?
  • What would you say about yourself?
  • How would your self-talk change if you appreciate yourself?
  • How would you act if you were this grand version of you?

Here’s a daily practice to integrate the New You.

  • When you wake up, immediately and intentionally think the thoughts of your most ideal self.
  • Visualize yourself as that person and feel that confidence and appreciation for being an expression of Source.
  • Make a snapshot of this image of you and these emotions.
  • Next, from this state of confidence and appreciation, design your day and rehearse everything that you have on your agenda.
  • Do this at least 3 times. Be fully in the experience.
  • During the day, frequently and before any action is taken by you, think again of and recall that snapshot of the ideal image of you, feel the emotions and act as if you are that ideal self.
  • When you go to bed, feel sincere and deep gratitude about yourself and your life.

Doing this practice repeatedly, it will not only become a habit, but you will actually become your ideal self.

To learn more, get your free Own Your Greatness & Abundance Kick Start meditation and video on my website.


  • Dina Marais

    Business & Life Reinvention Coach

    Dina is a Business & Life Reinvention Coach and works with entrepreneurs and professionals to reinvent their business and life, live a stress-free lifestyle and make money in harmony with their heart, health and the Universe. Dina believes to BE the change you want to see in your business by mastering your mindset energy vibration and leverage your expertise to manifest your vision and business lifestyle. She has been involved in coaching and business for more than 16 years. Dina is a co-author with 19 other women world wide sharing their love journeys of trauma and triumph in the #1 International Best Seller Love Unboxed by Placida Acheru.