By Tsgoyna Tanzman

Photo Credit: Natalie Conde

Maybe it was the long season of smileless masked expressions or the torturous absence of touch that made me feel my love tank was on empty, but then I started to notice all the things I said I hated.

Innocuous things, like:  

I hate when someone doesn’t call me back.

I hate when my computer is slow and the internet doesn’t connect.

I hate all the paper work.

I hate the smell of smoke.

I hate when my daughter leaves dishes in the sink.

I hate my love handles.

I hate when people don’t listen.

Whoa, that‘s a lot of hate coming from a gal who’s usually pretty perky, positive and upbeat.
It’s also alarming because I know that whatever I think I get more of.

Tony Robbins, one of the greatest thought leaders and life strategists, says, “Words don’t describe our reality, they create it.”

Did I want more hate?

Obviously not.

I could become more conscious of the insignificant things,

But how could I not say, “I hate racism.”

How could I not say, “I hate injustice, or brutality, or that kids go hungry and are abused?”

I resisted and then I saw it.

Hate is resistance. Love is allowance.

Hate causes amplification of the unwanted thing. Hate is about separation– even hating for a good reason.

When Mother Teresa was asked why she didn’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. She said, “I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”

Love dissipates hate.

I can’t say, “I love racism,” but I can say, “I love tolerance, I love diversity, and I love understanding.”

I can’t say, “I love the smell of smoke,” but I can say, “I love clean fresh air. I love breathing deeply.”

I can’t say,” I love that children go hungry, but I can say, “I love that children can find food and safety and people do care.”

When I hate, I feel angry, constricted, fearful, heavy, stuck, rigid, and sad. These feelings take up residence in the body at the cellular level and manifest in the many common ailments seen by physicians.

Angry: High blood pressure

Constricted: Narrowed arteries

Fearful: Panic and anxiety

Heavy: Obesity

Stuck: Constipated

Rigid: Arthritic joints

Sad: Depression

When I say,  “I love….” I feel light, joyful, energetic, connected, resourceful. 
What’s the physical equivalent of these feelings?  Wellbeing, Resourcefulness, Energy.

When I feel love I am more curious and willing to widen my lens of understanding engage and learn.

I’ve decided I want more Love so I will love more .

Decide what you want.