There’s denial, pain, and mourning the loss of a relationship you’ve worked so hard to build. Alternately, there are days where you might feel hopeful and excited about the promise of a brighter future on the horizon.
Some days you’re moving through the whole divorce process with ease; others not so much. No matter how look at it, divorce is an ugly thing. Trust us when we say this is the time when it’s most important to wrap yourself in the deepest self-love you can find in order to stay grounded throughout the process.
Here we offer our best advice for how you can stay financially and emotionally strong throughout your divorce.
Forget the Concept of Being Amicable—It’s Not Realistic and Here’s Why
Making the best of a bad situation is a saying we have all heard in our lives at least a hundred times. It’s a nice thought, after all. When you’re facing something as unpleasant as divorce, why not take the steps you can to avoid having it be as bad as you may anticipate?
However, this is not a step to take when you’re going through your divorce process. Now, we’re not saying to start a full out war with your soon-to-be-ex, but DO give up the concept of being “nice.”
“27% of women experience poverty post-divorce. ”
Nice means you’re willing to give up financial advantages, or look across at the table, at the person you married, and want to be nice, so you don’t push for everything you deserve. In our experience, this method only leads to regret. After all, 27 percent of women experience poverty post-divorce.
So that amicable divorce everyone is telling you to have? Don’t listen to them. They aren’t experiencing what you’re going through and they’re not the ones who have to deal with the financial consequences of being nice. Don’t agree to unfavorable terms just to get the process over with, either.
Whatever your partner is feeling, whatever they may be saying, what you’re entitled to is more important than their opinions on the matter.
Speak Up About the Divorce Process
Keeping yourself in isolation, or relying on family members alone to support you, isn’t enough. Speak up about your divorce!
You’re entering a whole new period in your life—that’s a big deal. You don’t need to have everything figured out. It’s okay if you aren’t feeling like your usual self every day. It’s okay to feel the pain and process it however you see fit.
Be open and honest with the people closest to you. As women, it’s hard for us to receive support without feeling obligated to give it back. However, this is a time in your life when you can do just that!
Additionally, if you don’t have conversations about divorce, you won’t know what to ask and when, which leaves you in a reactive state. And even in a reactive state, you won’t know how to respond. So speak openly, ask questions when you have them, reach out to divorce groups, and build up your community. You’ll find there are a lot of people out there willing to share their experiences and help you come out stronger through yours.
Why WFWC Disrupts with Love
At WFWC, we believe in a different kind of divorce experience; one that leads to empowering moments and living a happy and fulfilled life, post-divorce. All of our knowledge, passion, and experience is geared towards building leading-edge strategies that help our clients stay three steps ahead of the divorce process at all times.
Why? Because, statistically, women often come out of divorce less financially stable than their ex-spouse. With the intention to create a safe place for women – especially those in a vulnerable position – to find their paths, their voices, and the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations, we change this all too common narrative.
“Instead of feeling overwhelmed and lost in the process, we #disruptwithlove by helping our clients develop strategies that move them through and out of their marriage into a new life filled with endless possibility. ”
Instead of feeling overwhelmed and lost in the process, we #disruptwithlove by helping our clients develop strategies that move them through and out of their marriage into a new life filled with endless possibility.
You can learn more about WFWC and our mission to helping even more women achieve financial wellness by reaching out and connecting with a community of empowering and thriving women.