This Christmas was always going to be very different; and this year I wanted to make the most of the imposed quietness that followed Solstice, really resting and sitting deep in the void. 

Limbo land. 

Physically speaking it’s the uncomfortable place between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day – when we don’t know what day it is. For me, in the past this time has always been pretty fraught and anxious. I am not sure if it’s the end of year slog, the feeling like the world will end on the 31st so there is an enforced pressure I applied to myself. I never looked forward to Limbo land. So, I always kept myself busy seeing friends, family, shopping and when I wasn’t seeing people or going places. I was always busy blocking out the noise of my mind with food, booze and mindless TV box sets. 

This year, after a few days of busy days playing games and watching TV, we decided to go for a 2 hour long walk in the freezing temperatures, and we caught a chill. 

We all had to stop then, drop into the void. Sleep lots, cuddle lots and of course there is no energy to fight over anything, so in this period of rest we also found peace. Each one of us content in doing what we wanted to do, whether that was sleeping, cooking or reading. Time to sit and surrender into it all. 

Then my husband and I decided to watch Soul – the new Pixar movie that came out over Christmas. It just reaffirmed everything that has been forefront of my mind through this whole COVID crisis.

Now, I very much believe there is a virus, and that it can make vulnerable people very poorly.

But I also believe that the more control we (society) try to exercise over this situation the worse it will get. Life as we know it has already been decimated. But in the rubble is something much stronger. 

Love. Life. Joy in the small moments. 

Soul captured this beautifully – our lives on earth are not about purpose, or mission – sure it’s part of it. 

BUT our lives are for living. Not hiding. Not complying. Trusting our own knowing and heart. 

There is a bit in the movie, around lost souls who are alive, but kind of in this limbo land. The Lost Soul is shown to be so obsessed with a specific task, trying to control or listening to others, that it loses itself, and it takes healers surfing the Astral Plane to help free them from the spiralling obsession the lost Soul has found itself in. 

I fear there are many of us, locked into the obsession of controlling the outcome of this crisis. 

One thing it does also teach us is that death comes to us all, and that we, our Souls come here for a human experience.  Dying is part of that experience. 

One take away to consider is, whilst we are on earth surely, we should be living our lives to the fullest for as long as we may live. 

Each and every one of us has a choice. Which is not always going to be the same as yours. And that’s ok.

To live. Every single moment. How YOU want to.

Because unlike the movie Soul, we will not get a second chance.