I particularly remember an incident when I was thirteen years old, I had a really good school friend called Greg. He had white blond hair and a soft pale complexion. Greg and I could talk for hours, about life, school and although we had very different backgrounds we had a good friendship, so I thought….. One ordinary Monday morning Greg walked into our Maths lesson and as he entered the room my jaw just dropped. His razor cut scalp, tight jeans, black boots and a Union Jack scarf around his neck had all the signs that Greg had become a skinhead. At that point in time in the UK the word “skinhead” had become synonymous with neo-Nazism, fascism and racism.

Greg walked into class and instead of his usual casual nod he looked straight ahead and walked right passed me. He walked up to his desk behind me but did not acknowledge me at all. I felt so confused and dejected. I just could not understand what and why this had happened?

Class started and the teacher began explaining complicated fractions on the black board… but I could not concentrate and I also could not help myself, I turned around to talk to Greg who was sitting behind me.

“Hi Greg what’s going on? You ok?”

I remember to this very day that look Greg gave me, it was cold and angry and as he looked straight into my eyes, he said.

“Fuck off back to your country Paki.”

I was stunned, immobilized by his insult. You as well I thought? If it was his intention to wound me he had. At that point the maths teacher noticed I had my back to him and shouted,

“Sunita, will you stop talking and turn around. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you!”  I did not hear the rest, fighting back the tears I just snapped and retorted.

“Sorry Mr Rogers but Greg called me a Paki.”

I was anticipating that Mr Rogers would react and discipline Greg for his racial insult, however, I was astonished to find I was met with silence….

Mr Rogers looked at me and turned right back around to the blackboard and continued with the lesson as if nothing has happened. I was devastated and deeply disappointed, now with both of them. This double blow was twice as hard and twice as painful. Now I know that with my work on safety, inclusion and belonging that everyone is an influencer and silence gives consent to undesirable behaviour.

Author(s)

  • Sunita Sehmi

    Leadership Advisor I Exec Coach I Author I CEO Mentor @RichardBranson I Coach @Cancer Support Switzerland

    Walk The Talk

    I am an executive coach and organisational consultant with over 20 years of experience, specialising in leadership transformation and change management for C-suite leaders and senior executives. As the founder of Walk the Talk Organisational Consulting and Leadership Advisory Services, I have supported leaders across major industries, including Tech, Banking, Pharma, Business Schools, International Organisations, and Social Entrepreneurship, helping them drive impactful leadership development and cultural change. Having worked with CxOs worldwide, I am passionate about helping leaders unlock their full potential and align personal growth with organisational objectives. I’m known for inspiring authentic leadership, driving transformation, and creating sustainable organisational impact. As an author and thought leader, my work has been featured in publications such as Forbes Middle East, Thrive Global, and Huffington Post. I am the author of two books, How to Get Out of Your Own Way and The Power of Belonging, which explore the intersection of personal development and organisational success. Through my involvement with the Richard Branson Centre of Entrepreneurship, I actively mentor emerging leaders and support social enterprises. I am deeply committed to empowering leaders and helping them create lasting, meaningful change within themselves and their organisations.