By the end of this article, I believe you may have greater clarity on what your priorities are and how you can become more powerful and happier than ever before. As a life coach, I meet so many people who have never even contemplated what an incredible life would look like. My job is to help clients get in touch with themselves on a deep level, from this place they are able to uncover what success really means to them and then get real results.

To make this fun let’s pretend that this is your mini-coaching session. How does that sound? Not much of a talker? That’s okay. Before we get started, I want you to take a deep breath in and hold it for at least four seconds before releasing it. From my years working with clients I can tell you that if you are resisting doing this, you probably need it even more. I know because I used to think of meditation as woo nonsense until I gave in and was surprised by the results. I’ll take the breaths with you as we pause for just a few moments. 

Do you feel more centered and present at this moment? It’s amazing how something so simple can connect us more deeply with our bodies. If you don’t feel more at peace I’ll bet you didn’t try it. 

Photos by: Gerry Garcia @gerrygarciaphoto

Like so many people, I used to live my life almost entirely in my brain. I was constantly strategizing, staying up working all night, with immense pressure to be the best. I had little time for sleep, play, or socializing outside of work. My mind was selling me a lie passed around in society, that you have to work relentlessly and put off enjoying life until later to achieve massive success. Not exactly a recipe for thriving, more like surviving with the hope that one day you’ll be better off. There are so many business leaders who would argue that this is the way to become successful but not this coach. 

I want to save you the heartache of a life lived in striving. At the pinnacle of my music career, where I was celebrated, even envied by some of my peers, and by many accounts “indie successful”, I felt more alone than I ever had. I’d worked for years to get up the charts and reached number one on one of them locally. Some of my songs got used on some popular tv shows and then came the night that my music video aired on MTV. You’d think that would have been one of the best nights of my life and it was for maybe an hour. That night I went from the feeling complete elation to an agonizing sadness.

Photos by: Gerry Garcia @gerrygarciaphoto

It felt like the sugar rush of my wildest childhood dreams. As if I was in Willy Wonka’s factory, not the new one with CGI but the original classic Gene Wilder version. I was feasting on it in delight but before long my stomach ached, my heartfelt heavy and was struggling to beat. There was no one around who understood the weight of the feelings inside me. I started to feel so lonely. It was then that I realized that I had traded so much fun, so many memories that could have been, so much of my life to be what I thought others wanted me to be. Praised for this character that made it onto the tv. I had wanted it so badly because deep down I had never felt worthy. The sugar crash had taken me down and all I could think was, now what?

I was hidden behind a facade. Not lying but definitely omitting and now I appeared to be thriving. The truth was, I was drowning in the thick synthetic syrupy river of this childish fantasy, with the only lifesaver to be found full of more artificial flavor, just more candy. At the time, I was dying for others to love me so I could just like me. With the newfound perspective, the taste soured and the river had changed into thick mud. I would have to break the layers that had hardened and wash away everything that wasn’t me so that I could finally stand in my truth.

I think we’re on to something: Survival + Growth + Truth = Thriving? 

Does this line sound familiar, “Once I have ______, then I will be happy.” Fill in the blank with anything that comes to mind. Our minds have done a great job seeking to fill that void, with nice things, accolades, titles… No matter how you try to fill that blank up, it will never be enough until you give yourself your own love. 

Photos by: Gerry Garcia @gerrygarciaphoto

So how do we live in service to our hearts instead of our mind? We become aware of our thoughts and notice where they are coming from. Your heartbeat is the knocking of your soul asking to be let into this world. Only you have the power to open the door. Listen in the silence once the mind quiets down and you’ll hear the wisdom from within. You already know the deepest desires of your heart and can choose to create goals not of the mind, but of the soul. 

As you start living from this heart-centered space, your life gets naturally sweeter and healthier and you’ll find endless possibilities. Imagine your soul singing, “Come with me and you’ll be in a world of pure imagination.” -Willie Wonka

Now, I will ask the question again with just one simple word added in, “What does it mean for you to thrive?” I hope you will ponder that question today, the answer can lead you on an exciting and joyful journey. If you would like some guidance with this you can schedule a coaching session with a Spirlit coach or pick up my The Daily Playbook on Amazon.

Instagram: @Kaden