Here’s something no one wants to tell you:

There are prestigious paths that aren’t necessarily worth it (for you).

We, as a culture, have a folly in that we overvalue the end goal while undervaluing the day-to-day experience.

Some goals might be worth it, but you want to try to figure out, in advance, whether you’re going to enjoy something so much that it will have been worth the pain to get there.

Your life?  It’s made up of individual days.

And I don’t know about you, but I want my days to feel good. 

If possible, every day.  (But realistically, almost every day).

I want to lay my head down on the pillow and think: “That was a good day; I enjoyed that, I want to do it again tomorrow.”

And that might mean that I leave some prestige on the table.  And that’s OK with me.

Let me give you some examples from my own life; these are Interests that I didn’t pursue because I didn’t think I’d enjoy the experience.

Important caveat: Every single example I give below is something this is 100% right for some people, just not for me. And I’m SOOO glad there are people who play, and enjoy playing, these incredibly important roles in society.

  • Lawyer
    • I think I’d make a good lawyer.  I like arguing.  I like logical thought.  I like persuasion.
    • Heck, I think I’d even have enjoyed law school.  Maybe.
    • But, when I looked into the future, I saw 80+ hour work weeks, tracking billable hours, and stress.
    • I saw that part-time lawyers routinely work more than 40 hours a week while being paid far less.
    • And that was a life I couldn’t see myself wanting.
    • Yes, it would have been a “good” life.  A “stable” life.  But would it have been a life I enjoyed? I think not.
  • Doctor
    • When I was a kid, I really wanted to be a doctor…until I was 17. (Actually, I wanted to be an astronaut doctor; a doctor in space 🙂 )
    • Then I did an internship with a naturopathic doctor and I realized that I’m a little woozy around blood/needles, and I didn’t want to touch strangers’ bodies. 
    • And so I thought, hmm, I probably wouldn’t like the day-to-day experience of being a doctor.
    • I also thought, medical school, internship and residency sound all-encompassing.  Do I want to have that day-to-day experience for several years before finally becoming the thing I might not even enjoy day-to-day?
    • Am I interested in science, in biology, in the body?  Yes.
    • Do I think I would enjoy being a doctor from an intellectual perspective?  Yes, I do.
    • But the rest of it?  Nope.
  • Architect
    • I applied to architecture school.
    • I got into architecture school.
    • Then I learned about the licensing process (years!) and the relatively low pay once you get there (unless you’re a superstar).
    • And I thought: I don’t know if I love this ENOUGH to be worried about money all the time.  I think that might make my day-to-day more stressful.
    • I’m not sure I want that.
    • So I didn’t go.
  • Chef
    • I love cooking.
    • It’s one of my favorite daily activities.
    • But do I want to cook for a living?  No.
    • Why?  I don’t want to work nights and weekends.  And that’s when people go out to eat.

And here’s the thing, had I done any of these things, I likely wouldn’t be doing THIS right now.

And the day-to-day experience of THIS job I’ve created for myself?

Of THIS life I get to live every day?

Well, to me that’s worth way more than any title, any prestige, or the years of toil they would have taken.

Now, I want to reiterate that I ALL the careers above are very valuable and they are the right fit for a whole lot of people, my friends, family and favorite clients included. 

And I hope that the people in them enjoy both the day-to-day experience and the day-to-day experience that it took them to get there.

I hope that they wouldn’t have made that choice otherwise.

You may have an entirely different list of things that would have been good to do, that sounded great on paper, but that you wouldn’t enjoy the experience of.

We’re all different.

My goal here is to invite you to think about your day-to-day experience. 

Right now.  In whatever job, or situation you’re in.

Do you enjoy the day-to-day experience?

Do you feel good at the end of the day, most days?

If not, what would you want to change about it?

And what’s one small step you could make towards making that change?

Look, do I love every aspect of every day of my life? 

Of course not.

We’ve all got drudgery; stuff we have to do but don’t want to.

But I’m always thinking about what I can do to improve that day-to-day experience for myself.

Because if my life is a series of days, just as yours is, then my contentment is predicated on the enjoyment and fulfillment I find in the accumulation of those days.

I can’t change my whole life at once. 

Neither can you.

But what I can do is to take it one day at a time, and to think about what I can do to make today into a day that feels good.

And then think about how to set myself up for tomorrow, to make tomorrow a great day.

And so on, and so on.

Author(s)

  • Alexis Haselberger

    Time Management and Productivity Coach

    Alexis Haselberger Coaching and Consulting, Inc

    Alexis Haselberger is a time management and productivity coach who helps people do more and stress less through coaching, workshops and online courses.  Her pragmatic, irreverent, approach helps people easily integrate realistic strategies into their lives so that they can do more of what they want and less of what they don't.  Alexis has taught thousands of individuals to take control of their time and her clients include Google, Lyft, Workday, Capital One, Upwork and more.