What is Security in a Relationship

A lot of people don’t realize this, but security is the most important part of any relationship. It helps foster many other qualities of a lasting relationship such as trust, vulnerability, and honesty.

Building security in a relationship can take a lot of time. It takes work, and at times, quite a bit of reassurance. All of it will be more than worth it when your partner begins to fully trust you though.

It will change your relationship forever and put you on the path toward something beautiful and healthy. Here, we can learn more about how to create reassurance in relationships and show your partner that you really care.

What Does Security Mean? 

At the heart of things, security in a relationship is all about support. Those in a romantic partnership should be able to lean on each other when they’re feeling down or stressed. 

When you and your partner support each other, it leads to longevity, trust, and vulnerability, which are all signs of security. 

When you and your partner can’t lean on each other, disconnection will ensue. Disconnection breeds fear, anger, and conflict. So, how do you make your loved one feel secure? 

How to Make Your Partner Feel More Secure

Some people need more reassurance than others. If you leave them waiting for a message or date, they might begin to grow anxious. If you’re inconsistent in your affections, it will breed bitterness. 

Reassure Them

Some people need a lot of reassurance that you love them. Going into the psychology side of things, this could stem from the fact that they didn’t receive enough security or affection when they were a child. 

The worst thing you can do is grow annoyed by their need for you to reassure them. Instead, send them quick texts when you’re out to let them know where you are. 

When you get into an argument, it’s easy for them to assume it’s the end of your relationship. It’s your job to let them know that it’s not.

Don’t Leave Them Waiting

If you leave a message unanswered for too long it will cause their mind to race wondering why. If you’re going to be late for a date, send them a quick text or call them to let them know. 

Showing up late without doing so might cause them to think that they aren’t important to you. Besides, they would do the same for you. 

Be Consistent 

Even someone who is fairly secure likes to receive a lot of love and attention. It makes a person feel needed. The worst thing you can do is shower someone with love one week and stop the next. 

If you’re not consistent in your affection, they may start to believe that you don’t love them the way you say you do.

Remember, it’s the little actions that matter. A small kiss on the head as you walk by or a hug in the kitchen can mean the world to your partner.  

Is Your Relationship Secure? 

If you do all the things listed above, over time you will create a bond with your partner. Here’s how to tell that you’re in a secure relationship. 

You Let Each Other Do Your Own Thing

Your partner calls you and tells you that they’re going to be out late with a few co-workers. Your response is a simple “alright have fun”. You know that you’re a strong priority to them, so you’re not worried at all about them going out to do their own thing. 

Hanging out with each other is important, but every once in a while, you need a little breathing room. They should be able to understand that and vice versa.  

You Don’t Feel the Need to Snoop

If someone is insecure, they might try to snoop through their significant other’s phone when they leave it on the table. Don’t get us wrong, being a little curious about what your partner is doing is fine. 

However, actually going through with your actions and opening up their text app is another. If you feel the need to snoop, then your relationship isn’t secure at all. 

You Don’t Overanalyze Each Other 

If your significant other says, “I don’t know where I want to go to eat”, you know they mean that. If they say, “you pick the movie”, you are 100% aware that they aren’t being passive-aggressive. 

Most important of all, when they say, “I love you,” you know they mean that from the bottom of their heart. When your relationship is secure, you take what your partner says at face value. You’re not overanalyzing to try and find some kind of double meaning to their words.   

Even Confrontations Are Comfortable

It’s not easy to tell your partner when they’ve done something to upset you. If you feel comfortable that you can confront them without it turning to a screaming match, that’s something special. 

If the two of you feel like you can’t talk to each other about everything, the good and the bad, it means that neither of you feels that you can trust each other. 

Building Security in a Relationship   

The most important thing you can do is to build security in a relationship. This will open the doors to many other qualities of a lasting partnership such as trust, honesty, and vulnerability. The first step to foster this healthy relationship is through reassurance. 

We can help you with beginning this first and crucial step. Contact us to book your free clarity call today. We can’t wait to help you meet and attract your dream partner. 


  • Giordana Toccaceli

    International Dating, Relationship and Intimacy Expert

    Giordana Toccaceli is an International Dating, Relationship and Intimacy Expert having worked with thousands of women and men around the world to become their most attractive and magnetic selves and attract incredible partners into their lives in record time. Giordana has worked with a wide range of clients from Top CEOs, successful entrepreneurs, professional athletes, actors, models and every day men and women. She is a regular contributor to Univision TV's morning show "Despierta Austin" and the Founder of Woman's Allure and the Co-Founder of Embody Love Project.