I’ve been divorced for eight years but today is the first day I feel like a single mom.  I wrote a piece in 2012 titled “Don’t Call Me A Single Mom” because my kids have a dad.  They have an involved, hard working, helpful and loving dad.  We agreed upon a schedule that works with plenty of nights and every other weekend at his apartment.  I have child support and a free babysitter when I travel for work or fun.  

We have worked incredibly hard to be the best co-parents around.  I think we have finally achieved that. It’s not perfect. There are a lot of disagreements and impulsive nasty texts but we always come around and are able to get on the same page.  In fact, we are a better team today than we ever were (and so grateful to not be married to each other). When we got divorced we shared with our kids that two happy parents who could be friends and parent from different homes, but together, would be better for everyone.

Today we decided going back and forth to different NYC apartment buildings is not in the best interest of anyone’s health.  Today we decided my home will be Corona-Quarantine headquarters. Today we sadly decided together that one home is better than two.  

It goes against everything we tried to do as parenting partners the last few years.  Wednesday nights were my night off. Wednesday nights were boy time. Some Thursdays were boy dinners or sometimes more time for the boys to blend with their new step-sisters who they love.

Now our great happily divorced blended family is separated.  Now our perfectly imperfect parenting schedule is broken. Now I will be the solo ‘shelter in place’ mom.

We are five days into our self-imposed seclusion.  We created a schedule together that has us on 30 minute to one hour increments of working out, eating, stretching, art work, reading (while I work), walking outside mixed with tech time and facetime with friends.

So, while we have all been trying to get our kids off of their devices,the devices will be a life saver.  Dad will continue his role remotely. Dad will facetime as much as he wants (as long as it doesn’t interrupt our schedule ūüôā and have scheduled social distance walks each day.

We are texting and communicating more than ever.  We are supporting each other. We are taking deep breaths before responding to each other.  We are throwing around ideas and texting pictures and videos to make each other laugh. We are helping each other to take one day at a time.  We are supporting the others’ concerns and fears and listening and hearing each other. It was through all of this that we were able to decide together what is best.  It was one of the hardest decisions of our lives. We don’t know how long it will last. We don’t know how long we will feel this way. We don’t know anything. But we do know that being these kinds of parents is the best for our entire family.  During Coronavirus and always. So I may be solo at home, I may feel like a single mom now, but I’m grateful for their now distant dad and all we have achieved and hope others divorced or separated parents will find ways to connect over Corona.

Author(s)

  • Denise Albert

    Co-Founder

    The MOMS & Mamarazzi

    Denise Albert is an award-winning journalist, television producer and Co-Founder of The MOMS (TheMOMS.com‚Ĩ) and Mamarazzi Celebrity Events.¬† She is a Journalist, Cancer Survivor and Activist.¬† Denise is a Former Producer at Good Morning America, and Former President and Executive Producer at David Blaine Productions.¬† ¬†She was the Co-Host of MOMS & The City on NBC's Digital Television Platform and Co-Host of The MOMS on SiriusXM Radio and Mamarazzi on People.com. The MOMS created the first ever mom-focused town hall series called Mamarazzi.¬†The ever-popular¬†Mamarazzi¬ģ events give influential¬†moms¬†and media access to celebrities in a town-hall¬†discussion while¬†partnering¬†with top consumer brands.¬† Mamarazzi guests have included Emmy and Oscar winners, Sarah Jessica Parker,¬†Will Smith, Nicole Kidman, Tina Fey, Hugh Jackman and Goldie Hawn.¬† To date she has executed over 300 Mamarazzi events.   Albert is also an Advocate for Breast Cancer and has shared her story on People.com and had an on-going series at GoodHousekeeping.com.¬† Denise speaks at Medical Conferences, Charity Events and other organizations on a variety of topics about her journey including alongside Mariano Rivera as keynote for his recent charity event. ¬† When Denise was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December, 2015, she felt lucky to be diagnosed early after she found a lump just months after a mammography (she had received a letter saying it was normal but didn't read further to see that it said she had dense breasts and may want further testing).¬† She had a lumpectomy in January and was fortunate enough to share her story on People.com‚Ĩ.¬† Denise used social media and her platforms with The MOMS along with an ongoing series at GoodHousekeeping.com‚Ĩ to continue to write about her journey.¬† ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ‚Ĩ   Denise's video with the TSA after a horrific experience at LAX went viral and Denise is using that to educate others on the best ways to travel with illness.¬† Denise is in touch with hundreds of patients and families across the country and believes this answers the "why me?" and is passionate about raising awareness for Breast Cancer and helping others. ¬† ¬†The MOMS created, produced and hosted, Strut, The Fashionable Mom Show that presented three times at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center.¬† Denise contributed to The HufÔ¨Āngton Post Parents and The HufÔ¨Āngton Post Divorce, where she wrote a series called, "Divorce Diaries". Denise previously served as a feature reporter for NBA-TV and a producer at Inside Edition.¬† Denise is a better mom because she works and a better worker because she‚Äôs a mom. She lives in NYC with her two boys, Jaron and Jaylan.