I was talking with a friend last week after she had just returned from a professional training to use essential oils in her professional healing practice.

I wanted to know more details about the training.  She said “I really enjoyed it. But I’m disappointed that I came away from it feeling that there’s always another roadblock.”

If you’re feeling like this woman, that you’re doing everything you can to create healing and change but it always feels like there is a roadblock in the way… fret not.

I’m unpacking what’s really going on and how you can step around those blocks.

You want to create health and healing? Or you have a desire to create a new career or business?  You set your goals and plan.  It feels like you’re taking all the right steps. You’ve held a vision in your heart for quite some time. Now, you’ve finally started checking the boxes off on your to-do list to get you there.

And yet, you’re not there.

Months later, (and sometimes even years later), you’re left scratching your head wondering. What am I missing? Why am I not there yet? What is it going to take for me to move past these blocks?  

Honestly, it doesn’t matter whether your desire is freedom from pain, anxiety or depression…or you want to lose weight.

It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to build a business or step into living your purpose more fully. 

You’re tired of feeling that there’s a roadblock in the way, preventing you from reaching success.

You keep thinking to yourself…something must be missing. You keep wondering. And your search for the missing piece goes on and on. Your internal drive becomes a search for an external answer. 

I did this for years…thinking that I was missing something.

That I just needed one more tool. Or one more strategy to get to my healing, peace, and success.

The good news is that I got a ton of credentials and training. And they propelled my career into holistic and alternative healing and eventually to my life coaching and spiritual mentoring business.

But, sooner or later, I had to face the real problem.

And you too, should consider looking at the problem with a new mindset and fresh pair of eyes.

What gives?  You’re doing all this work and yet, you’re still stuck in the same place.

Well, here’s the thing.  The answer isn’t outside of you. It’s deep within.

Begin within. Here’s why?  

You’re in resistance.

Oh, how I hated hearing that!

Until, I really understood what it meant. 

Being in resistance means we’re fighting with ourselves. Ouch!

It means we’re fighting with our inner critic. We’re fighting with untruths.  We’re fighting with our worthiness. We’re fighting with our shame.

Say what?

Yup. And that’s why the answer to removing roadblocks is not outside yourself. Instead, go within. Uncover why you’re fighting with yourself.

Most of the time it’s a subconscious choice. We’ve made it for one of the following reasons:

  • We’re afraid to be seen.  (This is a big one for empaths and introverts.)
  • We’re living a secret/shame and we don’t want anyone to see or know it.  
  • We’re afraid to unpack the shame and get in there and deal with it and release it.

We’re in conflict and we’re out of integrity with ourselves and that is a hard pill to swallow.

The best way to get ourselves out of this vicious loop is to create an external roadblock to substantiate our behavior.

That way it’s not our fault.

Oh, if only.

Okay, now that we’ve got it all out in the open, how do we bust through the roadblocks?

Now you can be brutally honest with yourself and accept 100% responsibility.

Repeat after me… I am 100%responsible for everything that is happening in my life.

Go ahead. Scream and cry and beat yourself up one last time. And then we’re going to move on from it because the good news is that you have a choice about what you’re going to do about it now.

So, how about this? How about you just acknowledge your fears and feelings.  Give them a name if you need to. Call them resistance if you want. Call theme Shirley if you want.

You DON’T have to be best friends with them. And you don’t have to shun them like the devil. 

Try this different approach:

  1. Tell your fear and resistance, “ Okay, I see you. We’re not gonna be besties. Here’s the rules. You can come along for the ride but you’re are gonna have to sit in the back seat. And you are NOT allowed to touch the steering wheel!  You can sit back there for the ride but you need to keep quiet and behave yourself.”
  2. Determine if you are missing a skill set. If you are, figure out what it is and how to learn it or hire someone to do it. Or hire someone to teach you to do it.
  3. If you need someone to help you release stuck energy or negative patterns hire them and work with them until it’s done.
  4. The most important step you can take for your health and well-being is to invest in unlearning what isn’t true about yourself. That starts with old patterns and beliefs that are stuck in your psyche and subconscious mind, as well as in your body. Dis-ease and discomforts in your body reflect the “issues in the tissues.”

It takes guts to leave the ruts.

It takes courage to ask for help and to face the resistance.

But, what I know without a shadow of a doubt? It is possible for anyone who is willing to do the work…to grow into the fullest expression of self-love, health, and purpose and break through the block.