Something wonderful and amazing I have noticed in my years as a coach (and also simply by being an introspective human) is that the universe is reflective. Understanding this is a great way to start to develop real power vs apparent power.
Anyone who has ever set out to change someone else’s way of thinking or behaving is aware of how futile and energetically draining it can be.
IT’S BECAUSE TRULY, WE CANNOT CHANGE OTHERS… AT LEAST NOT DIRECTLY…
Why is this?
Simply put, all your interactions with others have one thing in common…YOU.
Whatever is going on inside you, i.e., what you are thinking and telling yourself about the world and your place in it, is reflected in your outer world.
THE BEST WAY TO CHANGE YOUR WORLD IS TO CHANGE THE THING YOU HAVE THE MOST POWER TO CHANGE… YOURSELF.
So when we put energy into trying to change others, we neglect the area where we actually have the most power.
Try this:
The next time you feel inclined to “have a talk” (or take some other action) related to a change you want someone else to make, stop yourself.
Make a decision to change YOUR behavior around the behavior you want to change in them.
This can be a change in the way you act, the way you speak, or even just the way you think.
THIS SHIFT IN FOCUS PUTS POWER BACK IN YOUR HANDS.
Because truly, we have no power to change anyone but ourselves.
The bonus is, when we do change ourselves, especially around our interactions with others, it has a ripple effect (like throwing a pebble into a pond), because we’re all connected.
So, if you’re interested in real power, put your energy into changing yourself rather than trying to change others or manipulate them into changing to fit your needs. You will gain some unexpected rewards, and you will likely see those ripples create new patterns in your interactions with others.
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And if you know a friend or neighbor who could use hearing the advice in this article or needs The Job I Love Toolkit, please forward this to them.