Fear is at the root of many dysfunctions in today’s society. Even the slightest perception can be seen as a threat. In these instances, we experience  uncomfortable emotions which, leads us to run, avoid, fight, or resist in some way. 

Fear is a destructive force that is accompanied by discomfort or pain. As such, we avoid any and all situations we perceive as potentially painful. 

Fear is activated as we anticipate “something” can hurt us.  These situations include- doing something wrong, making a mistake, speaking your mind, conflict and confrontation, negative attention, financial failure, endings and beginnings, societal judgment, a new workplace, etc. 

Most people use control tactics and strategies to mitigate and avoid uncomfortable emotions, pain, and discomfort. Those who use control tactics and strategies want to avoid pain by controlling the environment, the storyline, and the outcomes. These strategies include: long to-do lists, endless planning, manipulating, justifying, denying, ignoring, avoiding, appeasing, working too much, etc. 

Control tactics and strategies are conscious or subconscious behaviors.  Some are visible and easily spotted.  Others are hidden and operate behind the scenes.  They can be simple or complex, with their own level of intensity. 

Wisdom knows… 

When we focus on controlling or avoiding something, we amplify and distort the reality in front of us. We become fear-filled.  We become uneasy, distrustful, and suffer emotionally. All the control tactics in the world will not stop fear from creating the inner damage that interferes with your sense of inner peace. 

There are those who use  control tactics and strategies to the extreme.  They are typically are skeptics who live in their heads. They fail to see the value of play or connection. They are rigid in their day-to-day plan.  They have strong requirements, opinions, and expectations. They focus intensely on what they say, what they do, what they don’t do, what is next, and what is around the corner. They can show up as polished on some level. They can also show up as vigilant, watchful, careful, protective, apprehensive, manipulative, and distrustful. 

In the extreme, these people have allowed fear to rule their lives.  Their top agenda is avoiding any and all discomfort to the point of shutting down their capacity to feel and value emotions – within themselves or other around them.  At some point, these people will experience a collapse of their reality – accumulated pain that’s manifesting as a physical disease, an emotional breakdown, or mental fatigue. 

Wisdom says… 

There’s no room for fear.  It’s time to up-level our mindset, manage our emotions, shift perspectives, and step into positive action each day. 

Change is the number one reality we fear. Change challenges even the most grounded and sunny person.  Why? Change threatens our sense of identity, stability, and safety. It activates an anticipation of discomfort, pain, loss, and trauma. 

We hold the power to STOP activating and animating fear.  We hold all the  power within ourselves – to start, stop, pause, love, hate, resist, or allow.  Choose without fear distorting our reality. 

Some leading questions- 

Can you avoid or stop change?
Can you avoid discomfort and pain?
Can you control life? 

The answer is no, no, and no. 

Control is a myth.
We control only our response.
We do not control the circumstances. 

The simple truth is that – 

Life is not under our control. We can take calculated actions.
Life is not about control. We find our way when we allow change.
Life is about living.  This means shifting, bending, flexing, and evolving.
Life is active. We cry and laugh. We play, love, cry, and laugh. 

Life brings endings and beginnings in each day-to-day moment, situation, and relationship. Life guarantees you will change and be challenged.  Life includes moments of pain and happiness. 



What’s the best solution to eliminating fear? 

•  The solution is to welcome change.
•  The solution is to eliminate fear.
•  The solution is courage.
•  The solution is love. 

Love opens the heart.  Love helps eliminate fears with strength, trust, and confidence in your own capacity to move through any challenge. 

Love is the way to higher consciousness. Higher consciousness brings awareness, understanding and acceptance. In this way, we welcome change and fear nothing. 

Much Love,

#empath #mentalclarity #empathpower #mindandbody #innerpeace #mindfulness