I spent most of my Sunday lying in the sun on my little balcony like a lizard. I took my notebooks with me and my coloured pens. I didn’t feel like reading, so napped in between my scribbles.
Not scribbling anything in particular. I just like being with my pens sometimes.
I’m a big picture thinker. And I love connecting the dots. And when all of that gets stuck in my head I feel so wired and frustrated. And admittedly sometimes my partner bares the brunt of that frustration!
He’s been known to say things to me like “do you want to go do a meditation?” or “someone sounds like they need a walk?”.
Because when I get like that – all stuck in my head – I really do need those things, space.
And, I also need my pens.
My pens give me space.
Right now you’ve probably got a lot more space than you were expecting to have. You’ve had space away from your usual physical environment.
Space can at first feel a little weird. It’s not something you’re used to giving yourself, so you’re not used to feeling it. To know what to do with it.
But you’re also likely sinking in to it a little more by now. Finding a new routine and rhythm. I’ve been sleeping in more. I think my body’s just needed it.
My partner’s been starting work a little later. I think he’s really needed it to (I have no idea how he can spend literally 8 hours straight on the phone all day!).
The more you sink into the space, the more those questions that were circling previously also have a chance to come to the surface.
It’s pretty natural to feel a little unsure, confused or even anxious about what you want to do with those questions.
Before, you could swat them away and busy yourself with your long list of errands to run, offices to be in between, and social outings.
Now, well, now you’ve got less room to swat.
I wrote a guide (get it here) last week all about how to know if you should quit your job or not. Because I feel like that question was a biggy for me. But instead of sitting with it and sinking into the space at the time, I kept swatting it away.
Without giving the whole guide away (although I actually am giving it away, you can get yours here), here’s one of the biggest lessons that gave me relief from all the questioning:
You need the space. The space is good. The space is where all your dots can connect.
Which is why me on the balcony, in the sun, with my pens, is still very much a part of my life. It’s my fuel.
I need space to take all the thoughts out of my head and actually get to know them. I get frustrated, stuck and confused if I don’t.
If you’ve been feeling frustrated or like you want to swat any questioning away, you need my free guide
How To Know If You Should Quit Your Job: An unconventional guide to finally getting the answers you’ve been searching for.
First published on www.thedaisypatch.co.uk/blog.