A former client recently reached out to me to share some challenging news. She had been called into a conference room and informed that her position was being eliminated because of a recent merger and she would be let go. After she shared all the ugly details, I asked her if in the past year, she had had any career conversations with her manager and she just laughed.

This situation is more common than uncommon, but these career conversations are important. In my years of coaching, I have seen that many of my clients are so busy with the day-to-day tasks of their career, that being proactive about career planning is put on the back burner.

When I think about my first “real” career position, this was one of my biggest mistakes. I was excellent at pursuing professional training but did not realize it was my job to be proactive and discuss my career with my manager. I thought a good work ethic and giving 100% would automatically take care of my career. I learned this career lesson the hard way, seeing less competent colleagues receive promotions.

It is essential to take time a few times a year to think about what is going well, what is missing, and what may be an opportunity area for you. Don’t wait until things go sour or you become bored—you may miss out on opportunities or not have energy to make a needed change. By taking the initiative to update your manager on what you want for yourself, he or she can be supportive and keep you in mind for upcoming projects or positions.

At a Career Thought Leaders Conference, I attended an excellent session on career conversations given by Antoinette Oglethorpe, who is a coach in the UK. Her session, How to Help Employees Take Ownership of Their Careers, focused on the importance

of career conversations. Antoinette highlighted four key characteristics of highly effective career conversations:

1. Not necessarily with “the boss”. As you think about your career, you may find that some of your most effective career conversations are not with your manager. I know this has been true for me and for many of my coaching clients. What is most important is that you have an individual who will listen to you, be objective, and has no underlying agenda. At some point, you need to get your manager on board, but it can be helpful to reach out to others first.

2. Often take place informally. Excellent career conversations often happen when we least expect them. We may be having lunch or meeting with a colleague about a project and there is time for another brief conversation to share career insights. Think about the person you are meeting with in advance. How can you add value for them and what is one insight you would like to get from them?

3. Don’t have to take a long time. My clients tell me that they want to be sensitive to how busy colleagues’ and customers’ schedules are, so are hesitant to have this type of conversation. I understand but if you have a specific question on which you need feedback, you can have a valuable conversation in less than fifteen minutes. To keep your conversation short and to the point, take time to prepare.

4. Provide different levels of support at different times. You need to have different career conversations depending on where you are in your career, and if you manage others, where they are in their career. If you are starting on a new project, the conversations are going to be different than if you are looking for possible opportunities internally in your organization or externally.

Don’t put your career in automatic pilot mode. Take time today to reflect on what you want your future career to look like and how being proactive can help you achieve that.


  • Beth Benatti Kennedy, MS, LMFT

    Leadership Coach, Author and Speaker

    Benatti Leadership Development

    Beth Benatti Kennedy, MS, LMFT, Leadership Coach, Author and Speaker at Benatti Leadership Development. Beth Kennedy, brings more than twenty years of experience to her role as a leadership and executive coach, resiliency-training expert, and speaker. With an extensive background in career development, she coaches high-potential individuals on how to use their influence strategically, collaborate effectively, and focus on innovation. Ms. Kennedy also creates customized training programs that make an impact, with a focus on keeping employees resilient, engaged, and productive, and able to manage change and transition within the organization. Current and past clients credit her dynamic training design, facilitation, and follow-up coaching model for their documented results and success. She has a diverse client list including corporations, small businesses, nonprofit organizations, and individuals. Ms. Kennedy is the author of Career ReCharge: Five Strategies to Boost Resilience and Beat Burnout. For details about working with Beth, visit www.bethkennedy.com.