‘Shhhhhhhhh.’ How many times have you told yourself that? You’ve kept quiet, swallowed those words to have a peaceful life, but then walked away and found yourself wishing you’d said something. 

Ladies. Mothers. Daughters. Sisters. Friends. We have whispered for so long, for fear of what others might think of us, for what we might think of ourselves. It has become part of us that we don’t speak up when we know we should or when we want to, swallowing those words. Not speaking our truth. But what is more powerful is making the choice to speak, or not. This is one of superpowers.

Finding your voice after holding back for so long can be difficult. How do you free yourself from the silence? You need to first decide when you want to speak. Your choice is powerful. It is in that moment, that you decide, is this important enough for me to say something? If it isn’t, then that choice allows you to walk away taking responsibility for not having said anything and how you respond (no more of the passive aggressive sighs ladies). 

But what to do if you want to find your voice? 

1. Choose. Be the one in control of when to speak or not and own the outcome when you choose not to say something. For example if your partner doesn’t do the dishes the way you like and you don’t speak up. You have to be prepared for the dishes continuing not to be done the way you like them. This may also push you to speak up more often.

2. Learn to say F*ck it, out loud to yourself at least once a day. This is like a warm up for your voice, for your soul. Most likely if you are someone who has curbed yourself, you may struggle with this. But it is powerful when you can learn to find your voice and this will help you find it. Say it with emotion, with venom, with anger. Whatever emotion feels uncomfortable for you. Saying F*ck it is like warming up your vocal cords and that emotion again.

3. Practice speaking out with someone you trust. Someone who you know who is going to support you. A girlfriend who is supportive. Start small, for example: when asked if you would a cup of tea and if you would prefer coffee. Ask for coffee. Become confident asking for what you want and need. 

When you find your voice, remember speak with love and care. If you’ve been holding back for a while, there may be a build up of things you want to say. Give yourself time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are a powerful woman, show the world that beautiful soul that you are.