Now is the time to use that power to design the life you want to live, surrounding by people who will support you in your dream.
Responsibility for ourselves and our actions is something that is often difficult for a person to accept.
Are you aware that you have created your current reality? Every decision, every time you didn’t make a decision and allowed others to do so has led you to where you are now.
I know that is difficult to accept and often at this point you find yourself triggered, your hackles rise and there is a heat in your belly.
You want to tell me I’m wrong, the anger is rising from within, how dare I say that. I know nothing about you, your situation, the events that have unfolded in your life that have brought you to where you are today.
The truth is very simply – the events in your life didn’t create your current reality, your reaction to them did.
There may be many reasons for your reaction, fear, the desire to liked or love or very simply you didn’t know you had a choice. You had no idea that you make a decision to step out off the path, change your direction or just say NO!
This isn’t about self-loathing and self-flagellation, this is about accepting, loving and being gentle with yourself to be able to step up and take responsibility for your situation. To identify those areas of unhappiness and to let go of the stories you are telling yourself.
Whilst you are looking outside for validation or reasons for what is, you are creating a sense of disconnection with yourself. Of course, it is easier to blame them – than look within.
Here is the thing, in being gentle and loving with yourself remember that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had and when you know better you do better.
This creates some space for you to allow the idea of responsibility settle in, instead of blaming circumstance or even people, which causes feelings or separation, disconnection and loneliness (because there is no lonelier place than amongst people you feel just don’t get you!)
It also strips you of your power because you are looking outside for reason and people to blame, in order to stand in your power you must be able to take responsibility for your part, in other words, what did I do to create this or what did I allow to happen.
How often have you thought to yourself, “if only he understood me.” Or “if he wasn’t so selfish, or busy or disrespectful,” or whatever your justification is.
We all do this at some time or another, I personally can think of many instances where I have done this and I’m sure you can too.
In fact, why not take a moment and write down the first few examples which come to mind.
This isn’t about shifting blame around, this is about getting clear on where not why you have allowed others to be responsible for your happiness and decide to withdraw that power with immediate effect.
You may or may not have to understand why you allowed it and to visit those beliefs and rewrite the stories attached.
You must recognise that everything you say, feel or believe is occurring on the outside and is nothing more than a mirror of what is happening within.
This is one of the most powerful and effective tools you have for healing yourself and taking a step into your power.
You are using your environment as a mirror to your soul.
A reflection of all your own thoughts, beliefs, and self-talk. Here you will uncover your fears, your assumptions, your expectations all those pesky little ideas which trip you up and keep you prisoner in your own mind and of course a life which is not currently fulfilling your happiness.
With all the compassion you would show to a small child or an elderly relative your will gently probe, question and delve deep into the working or your mind, your thoughts, your reasoning and finally, you will ask yourself:
“What if I’m wrong?”
“What would I need to believe to be happy?”
“What will it take to create that belief?”
“How would life be without these stories?”
Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are creating your life in every decision you make with every thought you engage in and everytime you compromise your beliefs, your desires or your needs for someone else, no matter how well-intentioned or thoughtful you believe you are being.
By setting boundaries, getting clear on what you want from life and understanding the mechanisms which keep you from embracing your power and creating the life you wish you will transform your world and your relationships.
If would like to know more and understand how I can help you move from unconscious creator to conscious creator of your life then book a connection call: Book A Connection Call
What can you expect from me?
I help you uncover the stories, you identify what they are costing you and to help you re-frame and revision your beliefs.
I will hold space for you, I will probe and delve, but I can’t make that change, only you can do that.
I offer my support, my compassion and my knowledge.
What do they say about me?
I think your messages about marriages and relationships are the most realistic and actionable messages I’ve ever heard and I’m someone who’s been to marriage counselling and read several books on relationships, so I’ve heard/read a lot.
Originally published at allisonreiner.com