You may be looking for love, but a lot of times it doesn’t feel like love is looking for you.

Despite all the benefits of big data technology, it seems that the world’s leading dating websites can’t manage to develop an algorithm that easily matches up most people with their soul mate – although the sites do work for some individuals.  Still, the number of individuals who manage to find love online is nothing to get excited about.

In short, dating can be brutal – whether on- or off-line. If you’ve been looking for love for a while, what feels like a series of never-ending failed attempts at matchmaking can really get you down – especially if you’ve spent plenty of coin in the process.

There’s Love in the Numbers

Technology has transformed how we get around, the way that we take in various forms of content and even how we communicate. Nearly every kind of enterprise, including dating sites, makes use of big data technology today.

As for dating sites, you’d think that they simply use your profile keywords to help you find the best partner, but there’s more to it than that. For instance, some dating sites use natural language processing (NLP) to comb users’ feeds and assess compatibility. Then, an AI-powered program will use that data to match users, so the process is much more than a simple matter of matching keywords.

For example, Hinge leverages an algorithm that is the recipient of the Nobel Prize. It’s called the Gale-Shipley algorithm. The algorithm analyzes user preferences, likes and dislikes to couple up daters. Once a site finds a match, it notifies users that it’s found a match with great potential.

So far, the technology has proven itself as a useful tool for finding better matches. Resultantly, people that use Hinge are more likely to swipe right compared to sites that don’t use the Gale-Shipley algorithm.

Maybe It’s Time to Control the Narrative

Whether you’re searching for love in the digital domain or your local coffee shop, people can smell fear, desperation and other undesirable dating traits. For example, if you approach a potential mate and you’re nervous, you’ll make them nervous. If you’ve been looking for your other half forever, and you feel like a hollowed-out shell, that hot number you finally gathered up the courage to approach is going to pick up on it right away. It’s not that most people are mean. It’s instinctual.

When you’re confident, however, things go much differently. If you’re well put together, your approach is more likely to receive a positive response. The problem is that you can’t fake it. For a lot of daters out there, it might prove prudent to work on themselves before looking for their other half.

If you go out into the wild with neediness in your heart, it’s going to ruin your vibe. It sends out lousy karma; it’s just not attractive. Sorry lovers, but that’s just the rules of the wild – there’s no changing it.

Someone Just Like Me

In offices around the globe, diversity and inclusion are hot buzzwords. In the dating world, however, that’s not necessarily the case. Intrinsically, the more someone looks like you, the more comfortable you are with them. On top of this, some researchers would argue that monogamy is downright unnatural.

For all the love songs and novels in the world, monogamy is more of an idea than it is a reality. It would seem that the more monogamous a culture, the more infidelity runs amok. It’s not just humans who suffer from this predicament. The same unfaithfulness takes place among monogamous animals, so at least as a species were not alone.

Researchers study monogamous animals to understand why monogamy fails so often in human relationships. Unfortunately, the jury’s still out.

Still, reproduction is life. Every being – whether human or animal – has a strong desire to produce offspring. However, there are many factors that frequently overpower the concept of monogamy.

Everybody has a type, but do you really want to grow old and weathered waiting for your fantasy person to cross paths and fall in love with you? This doesn’t have to happen to you. However, many people stick with this plan.

You, however, are smart. There’s no growing old and gray by yourself in your future. The next time you feel the urge to go mate hunting, you’re going to talk to someone that you might not usually talk to. Alternatively, you may go someplace that you usually never visit. In that strange but sanitary bar that you swore you’d never visit, you may just get lucky and find the love of your life. If not, at least you’ve experienced something new. Maybe that will lift your spirits.