Hi everyone, and welcome back to part two of my latest article about self-worth.

We will always have times that make us doubt ourselves. At such times that may seem to you as insurmountable, at times when you face the hardships that life tends to throw at you, I want you to remember that “you are a miracle of life”. A statement that Tony J. Selimi, one of the world’s best educators, life coaches and business mentors I have come across instilled in me from the first day we met.

It is what set me on this unique journey to healing the effects of the pain generated from the causes of many of my actions and inactions. When you think about it, intuitively we know the laws of cause and effect, yet we don’t apply them in our daily lives, certainly not at work.

No words can explain the personal, professional and business development journey with Tony as your coach and mentor. It is like no other I have experienced, it is why I love writing about it so many of you can know about it, learn his method so you too can benefit.

Tony J. Selimi is someone who can see-through your pain and safely gets to the root cause of why we allow ourselves to feel unworthy and let others treat us badly no matter the circumstances. His unique blended style of coaching and mentoring guides you into developing an empowering mindset that that truly unlocks your inner worth.

In part one of the article “Why Increasing Your Self-Worth Matters” I shared with you the first lesson. Let me share with you lessons number two, three and four I learned and implemented from my last monthly Clarity Breakthrough Consultation with Tony. All the lessons shared you can apply them immediately to increase your self-worth.

So, let me get straight to it,

TJS Clarity Breakthrough Consultation Lesson Number Two

Embrace the lessons of your past. We often forget how much we learn as we face life’s greatest adversity. With Tony’s unique questioning style, I started to realise the benefits any company would have as the result of the lessons learned from my past addictions, jobs and life experiences. He asked me “Paul, how long have you been clean and sober? My answer was instant since I started working with you, that is, over four and a half years now. As I was writing this down, once again, I had tears of gratitude flowing through my cheeks. Reason being, I realised how this on its own is an astounding achievement. Furthermore, he said, “not to mention you’ve never once come close to a relapse.”

As the session went on, it became clear to me that following the twenty-five conscious engineering steps embedded in Tony’s TJSeMethod: ALARM ™ daily has helped me on so many levels. I have used it to better manage my emotions, cravings, thoughts and disruptive behaviours.

There will always be people who judge you on your past but remember this;

There are also people out there who spend their entire lives to help us grow, encourage us to take decisive action and do something about whatever troubles us. Tony is one of these teachers who has dedicated his life to find new ways to most effectively help you change your life as he did for me.

As the questioning continued, he asked me this: “Paul, by you increasing your self-worth and changing your behaviours how has it benefitted your past employers?

My answer “Well Tony….. The truth is, I’m hardly ever ill, I hardly ever take time off of work through sickness or illness, and I tend to not take extra holidays.”

He then took on the role of a future employer and said: “ It would be stupid of any future employer not to employ someone with those likeable attributes and skills, wouldn’t you agree?

His clever questioning awakened the awareness in me of how, by my taking action to improve my life, it benefits others. Which means that I’m at low risk of causing unnecessary costs and damaging the company’s reputation through exhibiting such adverse behaviour caused by addiction and harbouring resentments towards those at work that we perceive to be damaging us.

It was at this point; I recounted several incidents from just one Oil & Gas Project where I’d worked previously, that due to staff spending years away from home, many would seek release in drinking and taking drugs to help them ease the pain they feel deep down.

These adverse behaviours impacted on the local community, leading to them taking their grievances to the client’s Management Team and local police on multiple occasions. It is why I know that every company would benefit by getting Tony to speak in their company events and get him to coach both their senior management and all of the employees.

TJS Clarity Breakthrough Consultation Lesson Number Three

When you are with Tony, no matter how bad you feel about yourself, by the time you leave your session, you start to radiate pure joy. As the session progressed, I noticed I was beginning to feel much better within myself. He does so with all of his clients, he makes you feel worthy of love, and it’s why everyone who meets him and starts to work with him loves him so much.

His clients, Joel and Timea Van der Molen, the CEOs of Vandercom beautifully capture what this guy is capable of in the multi-award-winning documentary Living My Illusion. For all of you interested to see the magic he creates and the impact he can have on your life, business and family, do watch it on Amazon Prime.

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Tony then, with pinpoint accuracy, made me look to see where my skills lay. Paul, you’re beyond all doubt a leading expert in Permit to Work Systems, especially when it comes to examining the broader effects of them. Sure instantly, I agreed, because I not only know this, I’m sure of it, having written a report that proved how I contributed to the creation of 10’s possibly 100’s of millions of pounds for clients in just six months even though the report much to my disappointment was merely filed and not investigated further, which led me to question the business acumen of others whom I believed would recognise its importance.

That’s great, Paul, truly fantastic work, Tony mentioned, but forget about others, what does it show about you, because this is all about you?

It shows I know how to make systems more efficient.

Ok, Tony said you can do this, and you’re certain about this? Of course, I’ve done this in the past and can quickly again in the future. As the making efficient of these systems and how to do so is instilled clearly in my mind through the proven methods used. Ok, that’s great, Paul, and I know you know this because one thing I’ve noticed about you is you have a great ability to remember massive amounts of information and recall them at will, but what are the benefits for others by your clear, precise actions?

·      Well I know that by doing so, I’m inspiring those around me be more productive

·      I also know for definite that it saves companies a lot of time and money

·      Leads to increased levels of trust between clients and contractors

·      Most definitely benefits the working relationships between clients and contractors

·      Leads to less awkward questions in meetings between clients and contractors

·      Improves the Health & Safety record and performance

·      While benefitting the Bottom Line for contractor and client alike… to name a few.

TJS Clarity Breakthrough Consultation Lesson Number Four

By this point, I was thoroughly enjoying seeing all of my skills appear crystal clear right in front of my eyes, and then Tony said to me, something truly astounding. “Paul, I’ve been on the board of a leading global company, I’ve hired thousands of people during my 20 years spent working in the Corporate World and I know when I see a worthy employee like you who is too modest to acknowledge his contribution. Yes, I have an idea of your greatness, but you rarely discuss it in our sessions with me.”

He went on to say: “Well maybe you can’t see this but I can, the way you talk, and share, how certain you are when you stay within that in which you know you credible. It is genuinely astounding to observe, you speak with such roundness in that of which you know that you’d easily make a great director one day, that’s how far you’ve come in these last four years.”

Lastly, Tony asked me this, Paul how many people around you in the Oil & Gas Industry have you met who invest as much as you have done so in their personal development? Well, none was my honest reply. What do you do with the investment in your personal development that nobody else does, he then asked? My response was that I love giving back, and I love sharing what I have overcome to inspire others who experience dark times in their lives. Again Tony took me back to my awareness of when it comes to working with Permit to Work Systems, now what do you do here, and he got me to create a list that helped me see how easily I can improve processes of such nature as I’ve done it so many times in the past.

Lastly, Tony said to me, Paul, do you know why I love having you as my client? It’s because you’re committed to your growth and helping others because you are a loyal person who loves to operate with 100% integrity, like nobody else I’ve ever seen. At this point, Tony asked me to look over all I’d written down, and then he came to his final question. Paul, now you tell me what employer wouldn’t want any of the things listed in the employee, can you name one.

I had to say that no, I couldn’t, once again, tears of gratitude came to my eyes. I gave Tony a hug for making me see the greatness in me that in the process of being made redundant, it had blinded me too.

In just this one four hour session, Tony had completely transformed how I looked at my life, and I can confirm it was worth every hard-earned pound paid.

Paul McMonagle

P.S. If what I have shared has been helping to you and you are looking to transform your life, or perhaps open up conversations in your company and amongst your leaders and employees, then do email [email protected] and hire Tony J. Selimi to completely upgrade your psychology so you too can increase your self-worth and create your dream life. The decision to work with him is what started me on this life-enhancing personal journey like no other. For more information, visit Tony’s website https://tonyselimi.com