Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I don’t know who I am.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us, when in reality; most people are more scared than us.
You spot a woman sitting by herself at a restaurant, casually sipping on a glass of wine. You think to yourself, “She looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read through her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone? Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too fat.”
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and says to him, “I hate my gut… I wonder why my girl won’t talk to me.”
Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so put together and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
One key to knowing who you are is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who will tell you the truth about you by opening up with even the most sensitive topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am nonchalant about things?” “Do I always sound so argumentative?” “Do I talk too loud?” In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Be open minded for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve herself.
One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Knowing who we are makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.
Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was a leader” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to knowing yourself. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body jobs, etc. But life doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Knowing and loving yourself is not a matter of telling the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to know ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.
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