Society today tells us that we have to be strong, independent women ready to conquer the world! But while you can always try to live your life on your own, there will come a time when things happen and you struggle. There are people who can easily reach out and find support from others. But there’s a lot of people who find it difficult to ask for help.
Some value their independence so much that asking for help seems like a weakness.
Others find it hard to open up to others. They may have a gazillion excuses why it’s not important to reach out. Some would say they don’t want to be a burden. But is it really bad to reach out to people?
The author Maya Angelou once said,
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
Have you ever had that feeling when you want to share what’s going on in your life but you just can’t seem to get it out? You shouldn’t be carrying that weight!
There are three basic reasons why you should try to reach out for support in your difficult and challenging times and three suggestions how to do it even if you feel uncomfortable or scared.
WHY REACH OUT
Reason #1: Put Things in Perspective
Getting support helps you put things in perspective. We tend to be emotional when things don’t go our way and more chaos means more emotions. We then tend to think with our hearts rather than with our mind. Reaching out to someone gives you a different perspective that can help you put certain things in their rightful place.
Reason #2: Dealing With Feelings and Thoughts
Reaching out will help you sort your feelings and thoughts. Has anyone ever advised you to write down your feelings? Well, it also works to talk about them, not specifically to get advice but just to let them out. It has the same effect as writing your thoughts when you’re feeling so overwhelmed. Pour out what’s going on inside of you so you will be able to feel lighter.
Reason #3: Feeling Safe
There’s nothing like a sense of belonging during difficult times. When you go through tough times you can feel like you are bearing all the weight alone. You feel nobody can understand what you’re going through. But you are not alone! There are many people around you that can support you. Just remember they are not mind readers. Sometimes you just really need to reach out in order for them to know how to support you.
And you will also feel more secure than you did before the support.
Getting support doesn’t just mean having someone listen to you. It also means you get access to information, advice, guidance and other kinds of assistance from different people.
This can help you with your decisions and even with your actions. Doesn’t security sound good during tough times? Know that you are not alone in your struggles.
HOW TO REACH OUT
Even if you want to get support, do you still feel uncomfortable and unsure how to do it? It’s easy to think of different reasons why you don’t need to get support. But if you’re struggling, a little help will really go a long way.
Here are three tips to follow if you don’t know how you can reach out for support:
1. Decide who to talk to
When reaching for support, find someone you feel comfortable with or you know can give you the support you need. There is no fixed rule on who you can approach for support. You can ask your friends and family for advice who will be the best person to approach. Or you can try with talking about one small detail first and see who can be there for you.
2. Go outside the situation
Sometimes it’s best to get an outsider’s perspective on things. Some close friends or family may be biased, especially when you’re talking about something related to them. An outsider’s perspective can show you the bigger picture. That is why support groups are effective because you don’t feel judged and you get honest unbiased support. If there’s a support group for your specific struggles around your area then don’t be afraid to join it. You can also start by reading other people’s stories online to see what resonates and reaching out to them.
3. Honesty is always the best policy
Once you’ve decided to reach out for support, don’t filter the information. You are reaching out for support, not judgment or criticism. People love to help others! Always remember that. Be honest and you will get honesty in return. And hard as it may seem it first, you’ll feel great after getting it off your chest!
Image courtesy of Unsplash/Picjumbo.
Originally published at medium.com