its time to change yourself

Life: Safwan, do you know what matters the most in life?

Me: I was silent for a few seconds, thinking what to say. First thoughts that came to my mind were, “family, health, love, money” 

Life: Yes, they are all important but do you know what is the most important of all?

“Respect for Yourself” 

Me: Okay! Wondering where this conversation is going. 

Life: Laughing at my expressions. I have taught you for 35 years and I see the same guy in you even today that I saw 35 years ago. You have not changed. People grow and evolve. But you haven’t yet. 

After hearing this, honestly, I was not happy. 

It was the truth and it made me depressed. I sat alone in my room for a long time, thinking, reflecting and questioning myself. I knew I had to improve. I wasn’t sure how but I knew I would work on it. 

This was my conversation with ‘Life’ 8 years ago. 

Have I improved, changed and evolved? Absolutely!

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself” Steve Maraboli, Life, the truth and Being Free. 

Know Who You Are

There is a famous quote about having three faces.

“The first face is what you show the world, the second face is what you show your friends and family and the third face is what you never show anyone”

The third face is the most important face as it is the true reflection of who you are. It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you or what you think of yourself but what you truly are.

You need to understand and accept your strengths and weaknesses. Only then you will be able to improve by working towards becoming what you truly want to become. 

I noted down all my weaknesses and day-by-day worked on turning them into strengths. It was a hard task and I failed multiple times but the determination was strong and I had to prove to myself that I could change. 

My biggest weakness was being shy. I am not anymore. 

“Be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it”  – Hardy Jackson

Build a Relationship With Yourself

It’s healthy to take out time for yourself. You don’t always need to be surrounded by people. Be alone and do some extensive soul searching. Slow your life down, pause and reflect on what you are doing with your life. 

My second weakness was I neglected myself to give others attention. My primary focus is myself now. 

Read, Exercise & Focus On Your Mind

I was never interested in reading books. If I ever did read I would never finish it.

Now, I make sure I read at least 30 minutes per day and finish two books a month. 

High-intensity exercise is something I do religiously 5x a week. My body, posture, muscles, and stamina have improved within a few months. I feel 5 years younger. Making me more confident, and developed a positive outlook towards life.

The mind is a powerful organ and it can make or break you. The saying “If you put your mind to something you can achieve anything you want” is so true. It’s all about harnessing the power of the subconscious mind. 

Always Accept Challenges

I challenge myself in everything I do.

I did not have the technical skills to create a website. Instead of paying someone else to do it I watched YouTube tutorials and began working on my own site. Initially, it was horrible but over time learning new things helped me improve it. 

My writing skills were not great so I was hesitant at first to publish articles on my blog, Startupily. I told myself to get over it and write anyways. Now I write for four of the largest media publications; Influencive, besomebody, bizztor and thrive global. 

One of my goals was to start an online business and make passive income. Not sure how to do it I began following online entrepreneurs & mentors. It took over a year to grow my platforms and build a following. Now I make a decent living online. It’s not much but at least I have started and it’s on the right track to grow. 

The best way to improve is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something that you think you cannot do. Learn something new every day.

Complaining Wont Get You Anywhere

I complained and blamed external factors like the economy, friends, family, education, job etc. when things didn’t go according to plan and victimized myself.

I read an article, “The Successful Never Complain”. I have reduced complaining (still working on it) and instead think how can I change this problem into an opportunity. 

This To Shall Pass

Believe me, whenever I am in a tough situation I just tell myself “Don’t worry, it shall pass”. You face hard times and challenges to help you grow. It’s not my words but God’s.

Always remember if you are in difficulty, stop focusing on the negativity, focus on finding a solution. Believe in your capabilities. If I could change my mindset, you can too.