There were times when I prayed to God and said “why me?”
Flung myself to my knees and cried out in pain.
Poured over the pages of my well-worn bible searching for the single reason why.
In the days after Chris died, my tatty bible was never far from my side.
My parents had travelled for his funeral and to be with Ronah and me over the challenging Christmas period.
(Oh that 1st Christmas, just days after Chris died, was heartbreaking, challenging and so painful. Yet it was also beautiful….)
Mum bought me a new bible – a gesture I’ve never really considered deeply before now.
My parents don’t share my faith, but they respect it.
They listen to my point of view and often hear me out when I try to explain things.
Mum bought me a new bible – she was acknowledging that my faith and God was holding me up through the first days of my grief.
Mum bought me a new bible – she was showing her love for me and giving me permission to lean deeply on God as well as her and Dad.
Mum bought me a new bible – and I don’t think I’ve ever told her how much that meant to me.
I never got an answer to my searching.
But now I’m beginning to see what the plan was.
My whole life and business are built around being open and honest and vulnerable so that other people can learn, be inspired, be motivated, and take comfort from what I’ve been through.
The Master‘s Plan was always to have my experiences to share with other people.
That is my WHY!
My PURPOSE.
I will add at this stage – I am a bible believing Christian lady – my faith holds me up, sustains me, makes me who I am. This is my place to write out my prayers to God and work through His answers.