This one is for the movers and shakers that sometimes struggle with repeated failure.

Have you ever pursued your dreams and come up short and asked… “Why me?”

“To the dumb question, ‘Why me?’ the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply, ‘Why not?’”

-Christopher Hitchens

Well there you have it, let’s be wise and stop asking dumb questions. And yes, I am guilty of this too.

Asking the right questions can liberate our mind and open our understanding, spurring the right train of thought that leads to the right type of planning, implementation, and outcome.

There are questions we should avoid on our journey to our goals and objectives, while there are specific questions we should focus on.

What To Ask

Let’s start off with some really good ones at any stage of life:

Do I have a vision for my life? I mean a real, deep, long-term vision?

Who do I want to become?

What do I want to accomplish in my life?

Do I want freedom or security? Opportunity or comfort?

Do I really want success or do I want the appearance of success?

What is most important to me?

How will I benefit others?

How will I change the world?

“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

What Not To Ask

You can either choose to ask the right questions or get lost in the cycle of bad ones. Here are some of the ones we often get lost in:

Why do I doubt myself?

Why don’t I believe it will work?

What if I fail?

Why can’t it be easier?

Is failure permanent?

Will I ever succeed?

What if…__________? ( Fill in the blank, there are many what if’s)

Why me?

If your questions are laced with doubt and despair like these ones above, don’t expect them to yield the results you want. These are destructive on your path to success.

If you’re stuck here, no amount of saying the same thing will get you out of this hole you’re digging. As you dig deeper, these may sound a lot like questions, but they actually turn out to be statements.

You are just telling yourself that failure is permanent, that you are not the type to succeed. And what you believe, so shall it be.

This process gives your subconscious permission to be pessimistic and come up with ideas to confirm these statements. Instead, give yourself a chance by asking questions that will prompt self-esteem and action. Follow the calculation of success.

The Right Question + The Right Action = Mini Success

Mini Success + More Mini Successes = Big Success and Goals Achieved

There’s a better way

Flip those negative questions into positive ones, like these ones:

What is my definition of success?

What are my strengths and skills?

How can I succeed daily?

How can I learn from past missteps?

What is my purpose or mission?

What is my deep why for the direction I’m taking?

Once you ask yourself these questions and narrow in on your true “Why”, your subconscious can’t help coming up with solutions.

It can be actively working it out in your mind, even while you’re sleeping!

If you ask the right questions something magical happens everything inside you starts believing it is possible, which leads to all sorts of superpowers.Super attitude, super inspiration, super confidence, which then lead to super action and super achievement.

Questions And Action Must Go Hand-In-Hand

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson,

So, how do I get from A to Z?

The answer to this lies within another question: “When are you going to move in that direction?”

Too much of our questioning is not coupled with any action, or experimentation upon the possibilities. We just sit there asking the wrong questions and if we happen to ask the right one we don’t take courage and see if it may be right.

The right cycle is crucial to get right! Here it is:

  1. Ask the right question
  2. Experiment on what you think you should do
  3. Reflect on the results, and adjust the question
  4. Take action again
  5. Wash and repeat until you get it right!
Photo by Kristopher Roller

Fear And Failure Need Not Be Permanent

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

And even after you put your plans into motion, you are going to have many ups and downs and you will start questioning yourself again:

Why is this so hard?

What if I fail?

Is there no end to failing?

When do I give up already?

Why am I even doing this?

Who am I to do this?

Who am I to succeed?

Who am I to think dreams come true?

Will it ever end?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”

-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

So when you start questioning yourself, instead of “Who am I to be…”, replace it with ‘Who am I not to be…’.

We have come far on the path of questioning the right way, but I can assure you that it’s not over yet. You must tackle the hardest questions last.

The ones you never address. The ones that hold you back and keep you in darkness.

What are the things that are holding you back?

What are your demons?

What must you give up to realize your dreams?

What are you going to do about it?

How much will you sacrifice?

Who is going to keep you accountable? (Learn more about getting an action buddy now!)

Who is going to help push you?

How are you going to get help?

Who do you want to become?

And once again, “What is your true why?”

The true “Why” should be the reason that pushes you so hard you end up on your knees, but not broken.

The true “Why” will help free you of the chains of failure over and over again, so you can rise like the phoenix from the ashes better than before!

Knowing your right “Why’s” helps you conquer fear and failure. The why goes deeper than the skin. It penetrates the very being of your existence, if unveils the real you, the you you were destined to be.

How do you beat questions laced with doubt, despair, along with the urge to give up?

Let me answer it with another question. Are your questions full of light, truth, possibility, and potential?

If they are, then you can beat them by removing bad questioning from your life and replacing them with better questions.

The Portal Of Success

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ’Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death”

-Leonardo da Vinci

For those fellow dreamers… you are not alone in the fight for the ideal, for a better life, for potential realized. Join the trailblazers, the beaten down and the still pursuing!

We will not go silently! We will question, but not in vain! We will rise again with action; no matter the obstacle, no matter the insurmountable odds! We will fight, never to give up, and never to give in!

The answers are in you, they have always been in you, it’s your life’s mission is to uncover your potential by asking the right questions. Then through the experimentation on these questions finding the solutions to the obstacles that are only holding back your light. The light that will inspire the world.

Now that we know some of the right questions, it is time to light the world.

Stop the endless cycle of poor questioning here and now!

If you want to build your foundation right, with the right questions to accelerate your goals and dreams, get my free checklist!

Click here for my free Time Traveller Checklist!

“The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions.”

–John Simone

* Thanks to Max Richter, Angele Dubeau, & La Pierta — For the inspirational song I listened to while writing this article. “She Remembers”

  • Try rereading while listening to this song, it’s a great experiment. You might have to put in on repeat.