“We’re considering a move abroad while Trump is in office.”
“Goodbye women’s rights.”
“I’m preparing for Nazis to take over America.”
“Trump is a dictator and will stay in office forever.”
These are just a few of the statements I’ve heard from people in the short time since Donald Trump’s landslide victory on November 5. Most (if not all) of my patients talk about the election. I get it. A loss is hard to accept, and people deal with defeat in a variety of ways. For some it’s a period of reflection and trying to understand what went wrong, while others deny the country’s broad demographic makeup, refusing to see that America is more than just the “coastal elites.” In fact, if you look at the map, that’s exactly what the electorate looks like – liberals in the big coastal cities and conservatives filling in the upper Midwest, middle, and southern parts of the country. It’s these people – the ones who refuse to understand what America looks like – who are experiencing the meltdown.
Several people I know in major east and west coast cities are in utter disbelief that Harris lost. They live in a bubble and don’t realize that not everyone in the U.S. sees the world through their lens. The truth is people value different things. For some it’s climate change and protecting the environment, for others it’s feeding their children and protecting their families from criminals entering the country without proper screening.
At the heart of this meltdown is fear. Peoples’ anxious minds focus on all the possible things that could go wrong. This is fueled largely by media that spews inaccurate information, e.g. “Trump will ban abortion” or “Trump is part of Project 2025.” Neither are true. In fact, they have been dispelled. You must ask yourself: are you part of the problem and contributing to anxiety and unrest, or do you see things through a factual and historical lens and recognize that democracy is very much alive and healthy?
There is a collective panic and anxiety that is growing exponentially. I saw it play out in my own life following a recent pre-election TV appearance where I discussed some of what I was hearing from people regarding their feelings towards the candidates. Following this appearance people sent hate emails suggesting I was a far-right extremist simply because I was reporting what I was seeing across the country.
Now that the election is over and Donald Trump has won decisively, it’s time to accept the outcome. This was a clean and fair election and whether Trump or Harris won, a clean victory was needed to avoid prolonged uncertainty or confusion. People now need to focus on accepting that Trump is the President-elect. Democracy has functioned as intended: voters spoke, a winner was declared, and Harris conceded. And in four years, the process will play out again. For those who feel bad that their candidate didn’t win, they have time to reflect on how to connect better with the wider American electorate and shift their focus and strategy.
My advice: stick with facts and leave the hyperbole and sensationalism behind. It’s not helping you. As we approach Thanksgiving and other holidays, remember that politicians come and go, but family and friends are usually lasting and more enduring than politics. If you let a politician get between you and a friend or relative, you have given that person more power than they deserve and have let him win twice: once in the actual election and the second in ruining relationships in your personal life. Rise above the politics and discord and recognize that blood (and friendship) is thicker than a properly played out political process.
Finally, as a mental health expert, I’d be remiss not to comment on the response by several prestigious institutions. Elite private schools preemptively granting students a day off following the election is not a healthy response, nor is it responsible. The schools are doing more harm than good as they catastrophize a normal democratic process. In other words, they pathologize it, making it into a mental health problem. Even Ivy league institutions cancelled classes and postponed exams following the election. We must ask ourselves: is this really a national tragedy that warrants such a response? No, it is not. This is not a school shooting that kills innocent people, and this is not a horrific event such as the September 11, 2001 attacks. This is an election. If anything, schools probably could have provided a forum for kids to discuss how they feel about the election, that’s it. But by granting kids the day off, they are only adding to the collective anxiety.
So, at this point there’s no need to pack your bags and head abroad. Instead hit the reset button and find comfort in knowing you have a chance to do it all over again in four years. In the meantime, enjoy your freedom and liberties that allow you to march and voice your opinions publicly that so many people globally simply do not have the right to do without risking grave consequences.