Have you ever felt judged by other women? Worse, did you feel like they were doing it because of their own insecurities? If you didn’t fit they win. You’re the odd woman out? When this happens in a family, workplace, or educational situation this type of behavior can play a role that undermines our creativity and leaves us short on trust. The worst part is it might leave us not only not trusting others but as a result short on trusting ourselves leaving our confidence at a deficit.

Don’t believe the hype, whether you grew up in an environment where females were pitted against each other, competition was used as a method for dominance or you were subject to a masculine control model, you are not alone. It also is possible to break these pangs that lead to long term stress, second-guessing, and feeling like permission is needed to act. Lastly, for your health, this not only affects our nervous systems it also affects our immune systems.

You might think people need to play nice. That’s not true, playing nicely without being honest can lead to insecurities that further break down trust. A pattern change, in effect changes everything. Stand up for yourself. Call out what makes you uncomfortable in how you were treated and tell them instead how you’d like them to treat or communicate with you.

Use your energy to influence significant silent change. Shifting your mindset from the story you or others have plunked onto you can do wonders for relationships. Instead, intend how you want to feel and state what you want to experience. Affirming what you want, even only to yourself on paper or in your mind can be a powerful tool in the moment. For more lasting results check into a method such as the Emotion Code, Neuro-linguistic Programming, or prayer as an energy reset. 

Preemptive action is powerful when it comes to creating lasting change. Before heading to be with somebody who in the past has tripped you up emotionally or mentally? This time set an intention before arriving. Your intention might look something like this, “I want to experience joy, excitement, and leave feeling peaceful.” Your only job then is to align as moments come up that signal triggers for you. Pausing to ask yourself what to do will likely draw an answer about simply being honest. Women’s trust in other women through solid communication skills is essential not only for you, it is essential for all of society to see it in action because this brings lasting change.