Often when we think of self love there can be a stereotype around what it at actually means.
It may include visions of laying on a white sandy beach, sipping on a fresh juice, after having just done yoga and settling down for a day of reading your fave book and breaking only for delicious food and swims in the ocean.
With it also bringing into question of what does self love have to do with business?
With an idea of success coming only from a masculine, hard and driven place, leaving no room for love, kindness or care.
Then there are those of us who believe in doing business in an aligned, feel good and heart centred way. But again that can become confusing, that it is either soft and feel good, or hard and driven, leaving us wondering where is the space in between?
The place for both success and self love?
Well I am learning that for me I can’t have one without the other, that to make ‘it’ happen, create, learn, grow, show up and shine both personally AND professionally, I have to make self love and care a priority in my life and biz. This is something that I also believe to be true for all big dreaming, heart centred, passionate, girl bosses, change makers, creatives, coaches and female entrepreneurs.
It is an area that I always support my clients to explore and prioritise when they want to build, grow or uplevel their business.
But to be honest self love in my life and business doesn’t often look or feel anything like that vision above. It is so much more than self care practices. It is beyond smoothies and timeout. It is about my relationship with myself, with other people, how I am choosing to spend my time and energy, my own expectations, self worth, belief, confidence and more.
In fact it can be downright challenging and painful at times. Setting strong boundaries with people I love, having to voice what isn’t working for me in my relationships, saying no to things I want to say yes to because I know it’s the right thing to do for my body that needs a rest, awareness of my inner critic, continued self reflection and growth.
You see self love, can be doing the things that we would normally resist, turn away from or try to ignore.
Self love is really about loving yourself enough to do what you know is right for you, even when it feels hard.
That isn’t always easy. It’s not always fun. Don’t be fooled into thinking self love has to be pretty because sometimes on your way to loving yourself, it gets ugly.
Increased self love is more like the outcome of doing the self work. It is a about your own personal growth, because if you’re not growing then neither is your business.
So with that in mind boss babe, here are three ways to help you start to love yo self a little bit more in both your life and biz (that go way beyond sandy beaches and fresh juice).
Know your boundaries.
When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.
When you are building your biz, it can feel like you need to say yes to everything, but in truth the earlier you start to set strong boundaries, the sooner you will find yourself living out your vision and feeling the way you imagined.
Pause and think to yourself: Is this in alignment with my dream lifestyle and business vision?
Will it help to make me feel the way I want to feel? What is my why and does this fit into that?
Using powerful questions like these, can be a great way to value your time, be in alignment and know what your boundaries are before making any future decisions or commitments.
Understand that you are not for everyone.
Have you ever caught yourself wishing someone liked you? Or wondering why you don’t connect with someone that everyone else seems to? I have.
It doesn’t feel very nice and is a great opportunity for your mean girl/inner critic to join in the party and tell you all the reasons why – starting with what’s wrong with you. Sweetheart there is nothing wrong with you!
We simply are not for everyone and everyone is not for us. This is true both in your personal life and in your business/the work that you do.
In fact the more aligned you become with you who you really are, your values, interests and beliefs, the more you are going to come across people you don’t connect with. And that’s ok. It’s even better than okay, it’s a good thing!
Because it means that the people who you have in your life are your kinda people. It means that you are able to be your truest self and be loved and respected for that.
It also means that you don’t have to change, tweak, adjust or dull down the things that make you, you. Isn’t that the most beautiful form of self-love?
Practice self-confidence.
Self confidence is an area I am very passionate about as a coach. In fact I truly believe that self confidence is one of the keys to feeling successful, happy and any of the other feelings that are a part of your vision.
Building a business will also be one of the greatest tests of your own self belief and confidence and can either hold you back or help to elevate you and your message.
Somewhere along the way we got the memo that talking confidently about ourselves, believing in ourselves or being strong and confident is a bad thing.
I am here to tell you darling, that it is NOT!!! Confidence is the new black! Just like a little black dress, every girl should have one. I believe that deep self confidence starts with believing in ourselves and recognising our strengths and great traits.
So here is a little challenge for you…
Everyday, I would love for you to say out loud one positive thing that you believe about yourself. What do you know to be true about yourself?
If this is a hard or challenging for you then do it twice a day to help you bring more confidence and self-belief into your life and biz. And if you’re feeling extra daring, right one positive things about yourself below. I would love to know!