I am a work in progress, not the final draft. I am a traveler, not the end destination.
Beautiful human, there is no end destination. There is no perfect place, perfect body, perfect job, perfect partner, perfect belief system, perfect religion.
There is just what is right for you, right now.
As you change and grow, so will your needs from your place, body, job, partner, world. Sometimes the existing thing can move and flow and shift with you to fulfill your new needs. Sometimes, though, they cannot.
In those moments, we choose: stay or leave.
Stay with the existing place, body, job, partner that is no longer meeting your needs because it is the thing we know — familiar, comfortable, safe, steady.
Leave for a new place, body, job, partner… but that is risky and terrifying. There is so much unknown. Will I move to a new place and absolutely hate it? Will I be alone forever if I leave my partner? Will I never find a job I like if I leave my current one?
I’ve done enough of the leaving to know this truth: It might be worse on the other side. It may be horrible and not fun at all. You may also fall madly in love with it, cry tears of joy, feel wildly free. Either way, you will learn so much. Learn more about you. What you do / don’t prefer. What you thrive at and where your weaknesses are.
Most importantly, you learn this:
You are resilient
No matter what comes after the scary leaving, you can handle it. You are fire wrapped in skin.
I want to clarify one thing — I am not saying run away as fast as you can at the first sign of trouble, tension, miscommunication. I am not telling you to give up.
Absolutely try. Put in ALL the effort.
Sometimes that looks like a hard conversation with your partner, boss, friend — explaining how you feel and what needs of yours are not being met. Sometimes that looks like re-arranging your physical space to keep what serves you, add things that spark joy, and remove what is no longer needed. Sometimes it looks like a letter to your CEO advocating for something you or a group needs to feel valued, safe, heard.
The trying to stay can be scary all on its own.
People or places may surprise you. Your boss, partner, friend may truly hear your needs and make a change. They are open to shifting and moving because they love, respect, admire you — and make the decision to do better by you.
Other times, that person or place may disappoint you. They do not have the capacity to change how you need them to. And that is okay.
THAT, beautiful human, is when the choice to leave becomes the liberation you need. THAT is when staying becomes abandoning yourself in order to avoid abandoning them.
You are too bright to dim your light. You are too gorgeous to hide your beauty.
So, when you have the choice between leaving a person, place, thing OR leaving you (your values, dreams, desires) — choose leaving them, every. single. time.