The other day I was doing some thinking around the whole world of influencers, coaches, and those we follow, relate to, connect with, fall prey to (yep that happens too).

As I was reading and gathering information, I noticed a few glaring things and I thought; Wouldn’t it be great if …. ?

Let’s step back for a second.

Have you ever noticed how you can get so involved with personal development courses, motivational speakers, inspirational writers, self-help programs on anything and everything showing you how to get unstuck, unblocked, and all that? Absorbing, maybe inhaling everything?

It could be where you’re even obsessing over one person: an ‘Oprah’ type figure, or other ‘guru-like’ personalities. And then, you realize that you may not be any further along with your own life to realize that maybe, just maybe these people and courses that you hold in such high regard are, in fact, holding you back from living your life?

Quite ironically, I’m in this same profession; showing people where the opportunities are in life and in business, then making them happen. And yet isn’t it part of my work to get you to the point where you’ve gathered what you needed so you can soar? You’ll have the resources and knowledge for you to continue to be great!

After all, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Unless you’re aware of your actions and current state of mind, you may find yourself going overboard where you become obsessed with certain influencers, coaches, and speakers, and rather than focus your attention on how you’re leading your life, rather, you’re more interested in how they lead there’s. What happens is that you start to lose yourself and the intent in what you needed and wanted in the first place.

You may find yourself listening with perked ears and bated breath every word that comes out of a coaches or influencers mouth. You follow with great intent, almost vicariously living through their lives.

In all fairness, this is not how most coaches, motivational or inspirational speakers or others want you to lead your life. Or I sure hope not. Albeit they certainly want to sell you stuff, lots of stuff. They even may secretly want you to hold on tight and maintain a forever lifeline. Ok, maybe I’ve been watching too many psychological thrillers lately.

I could be wrong. Or am I?

If, however you’re at a crossroads, or vulnerable stage in your life, and you’re constantly seeing ads or promotions about “how to change your life,” you’re going to be more attracted to want to leap into a course, training, coaching session, etc. Which is great if you’re doing it for the right reasons.

If vulnerable, you may tend to be more impulsive where you haven’t quite thought through or done your own self-searching enough to know what you need. So at this point anything and everything may ‘sound’ wonderful. It could be or it could steer you in a confusing direction.

Take for example, celebrity status coaches and influencers. Have you ever noticed the constant urgency of their message? The marketing and promotion, where you MUST sign up. DON’T MISS out. The fear related marketing of; “If you DON’T sign up now your life will be crap without me.” Or at least that’s the tone and feeling I get every single time. They sell through the fear of missing out (FOMO), which I’ve written about before. Who wouldn’t feel compelled to jump on board? Afterall you’re looking for something.

When I was doing research on popular coaches and influencers I enrolled in workshops. Every time, like a ton of bricks I’d subsequently receive a barrage of emails — 2–3 every single day until the ONLY way to stop them was to unsubscribe. The marketing machine was underway.

In other cases, it feels incredibly self-serving as if you get sucked into their experimental lives. “Hey, my life was so messed up and then I turned it around, and so can you!” Or better yet; “My life IS still messed up and I want you to pay for my course and workshops so that you can follow my journey and maybe learn a thing or two about your own life.”

Wouldn’t it be great if you started from a place where you’re the influencer of your own life? Where what you want is to enhance and expand your learning from where you’re at right now.

Where the idea is to gather some missing knowledge or experiences that could help you grow. Not the other way round where it feels like you’re starting from scratch every time you listen to another plan, system, formula. What tends to happen is that it will keep you the deciding mode.

Only when you’re ready to act and experiment and experience things in your own life, will you grow. It’s in the ‘trying.’

When you find yourself constantly in the learning phase and not taking the next step toward taking some kind of action, then, truly, you’re making excuses. You’re procrastinating. And I get it, you don’t want to hear this. No one wants to be lectured to.

But I digress.

The truth is, you’re holding yourself back IF you’re spinning in the world of gravitating toward one thinker, one influencer, one idea of how you should be leading your life. Varied perspectives help you to gather momentum and build upon you as the principal character in your life.

I love what author Susan Scott wrote in her book; Fierce Conversations; “The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship.”

Wouldn’t it be great if, you knew that you matter just as much as any influencer, coach, speaker or noted personality, and that you held yourself in the same high regard?

Wouldn’t it be great if, you knew that you have the wisdom, skills, and experience that you’re honing each day of your life? And they are all connecting in a way that will bring you closer to what you need and want.

Wouldn’t it be great if, you trusted yourself more? That you had the confidence and understanding that you are enough. And I don’t mean this in an esoteric sense. It’s the fact that you start with yourself, first. Put yourself in the middle of the content — then seek out what you need, rather than the other way round.

Too often we work to fit ourselves into something or someone.

Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t do that?

Go be Great!