~Write to make things right in your mind~
Today I want to share some ideas and my own observations on writing your way to your inner truths, beliefs and insights. I have come to a realization that all the information, all the ‘seemingly missing’ pieces of puzzle are always available to us, because they are inside us. When we feel we are stuck in a situation, and the reality we are stuck in resembles a glass jar, and we hit a wall that is invisible to others and is only holding us back, it is a call to go deeper and to ‘dis-cover’ for ourselves what within ourselves is keeping us here.
Being one of the people who have read a lot of self-help literature, and who accepts a core premise that my reality cannot differ (radically) or go (far) beyond my innermost beliefs and convictions, I sometimes feel very puzzled by how, why or what for have I created (and keep on creating) certain very uncomfortable situations and conditions in my life. Recently, I have come across the concept of morning pages, an exercise which invites you to write three pages of your thoughts and feelings. This exercise basically encourages you to outpour the content of your mind and soul on paper. This simple daily ritual has become very important to me in the course of the last several months for a number of reasons.
Firstly, I see value in the very fact of being aware of my real feelings and emotions. Most of us have demanding busy routines of daily life, and it becomes difficult to really stop to listen and to understand what is going on beneath our actions and interactions that are running almost on autopilot.
Secondly, I noticed that it is only when I really know, take time to notice and acknowledge my feelings, my fears, my worries and desires within that I can constructively do something about those. This practice of putting my thoughts and feelings on paper has created a bridge with the self that I previously found hard to reach, let alone really listen to it throughout the day. Connection with yourself, practicing and cultivating the skill of simply listening to what is really going on within is of value for me.
Thirdly, this time of having an honest and open conversation with myself has provided me with a precious opportunity to digest, dissect and eventually drop some of my old ideas, beliefs or mental patterns. In other words, when a certain limiting belief I discover is causing much trouble and holding me back, or is putting me down, I find it fascinating that by writing about these limiting ideas, exploring where they came from and how they are expressed in my reality (usually by inhibiting my thinking and actions), I feel empowered and capable of dropping it. Or to disagree with it. Or question its validity or value for me in the present and take a step towards transforming that which no longer serves me.
~We are what we think and believe about ourselves~
What we experience in life, is always what we know deep within we deserve and have our own permission to have. How I show up to life, how I react to people, how energized and determined I am to pursue my goals through set of actions – is all predetermined by the ‘horizon’ of my thinking and perceiving myself. Putting it simply, the walls and limits we experience in our reality are always set (first and foremost) by our own deeply rooted beliefs and convictions. There is an immense value in practicing (honest and regular) communication and conversing with your inner self, so that you can become aware of the ideas and programs in your mind that are literally running your life.
I have long disagreed with the notion that the content of our inner, deeper (subconscious) mind is a dark, secret room and it is hard to gain access to its content. I believe (through my own experience and persistent exploration of that realm within myself) that everything we are willing to know, to listen to, to really understand and to change in our minds is available to us, always. There are various techniques and methods, and one will work better for some than the others (be it meditation, morning pages, working with affirmations etc.). But most importantly, when we look into our experiences, those problems or problem areas that prevent us from acting, experiencing joy or inner peace, we can always ‘dig deeper’ and gain access to our own mental constructions that are simply being manifested on the outside.
All spiritual mastery is about our ability to choose and affirm the truths that allow us to thrive on all levels and in all areas of your life. If I accept that my life is a reflection (or a sum and total) of my inner beliefs and ‘truths’ I accepted about life, then it is fundamental for me to find ways in which to transform and change all that within me which doesn’t serve me. It all boils down to re-deciding, choosing anew, going through the content of our consciousness and being able to throw out the garbage and chains that we ourselves have created. To be able to do that, one must accept a core underlying principle that without your own consent, acceptance, saying yes to it and agreeing with it – that thought, idea or a limitation wouldn’t be sitting in your consciousness and given a status of a fact or a truth.
Responsibility has become a scary word for many, which is associated with a lot guilt and triggers very uncomfortable feelings of frustration, anger and sometimes blame. And this is very common stumbling block for many individuals who accept the idea that their own beliefs and convictions form their reality. We do not like what we see manifested in our lives and we feel angry, guilty and worthless. Sometimes responsibility drives people into a dark pit of concluding that something is really wrong with us because we were so dumb, so self-destructive or undeserving to have created a certain problem or to be stuck in some area of our life. I think whenever concept of ‘taking responsibility’ is causing such feelings and negative effects, you are missing the point. You are using (or interpreting) the idea which is there to empower you, to remind you of your power, your authority and ability to transform your life to beat yourself up and to remain powerless instead.
The very basic way out of this logic is reminding yourself that YOU have a will, a power and freedom to choose new ideas and beliefs. Responsibility is never about feeling guilty or getting even more stuck. You know yourself better than anyone. Looking back into your path in life, you (out of all people) must know that you have had reasons, conditions, people in your life which made it hard to believe bigger, more loving, more empowering and worthy thoughts and ideas about yourself. However, you are the boss of your life now. It is really about a realization and awareness of the fact that YOU are the only person who can decide, choose, change or dismiss an idea, a belief or what you consider to be true in your consciousness. And any true changes, breakthroughs and shifts in your reality (be it relationships, financial matters or success in expressing your creativity) cannot begin but by changing and upgrading the content of your mind.
I invite you to use explore writing as a key to access your innermost thoughts, beliefs and convictions about yourself and your reality. One of the ways to do this (that I mentioned earlier) through showing up to your morning pages and just pour out whatever your mind gives you. When you feel like there is literally nothing to say and you feel strong resistance to writing, I encourage to ask yourself about the feelings you feel. You can ask yourself what is making you happy or unhappy today. My experience shows that once you start doing this routine on a daily basis, you will soon discover that the mere act of writing and describing your thoughts and feelings brings certain degree of clarity and organization to your mind, as well as puts you in touch with what feelings and emotions are dominant in your mental system. I call morning pages a ‘time for my soul’, a rare chance where I get to be really clear and absolutely honest with myself on any subject or any topic.
Another tool that works well when we feel particularly upset or emotional about certain problem, person or incident is to free-write everything we feel or have to say. This must be done in one go, without much thinking, filtering or analyzing. Just say everything you have to say, ‘yell and scream’ on paper if you like. The key in here is to pour-out your story, the situation and reasons for frustration or anger as you see and perceive it. After you are done, I encourage you to go do something, that will distract you from your emotional (or dramatic) storytelling on paper and come back to it in about half an hour. While reading through your paper, pay attention to any generalizations and statements such as: I always…. they always…. I cannot… it is always…. It is never… it is simply…I can never etc. In other words, I am asking you to identify and highlight certain patterns in your consciousness, that are indicative of some (or that can lead you to) core limiting beliefs and can show you where you are stuck in your mentality. My personal experience shows that when I really cool off and go back to my ‘essay’, I can see tons of limiting beliefs, fears and limiting thinking patterns that I have compiled and declared to be laws upon myself (yes, exactly! that is what we always do. If it is in my consciousness, no matter what they did, I am the one who put it in my belief system and accepted it as a fact about myself or my world).
~And again, about loving yourself~
One could argue that enough is said about loving ourselves. I agree with the idea that loving oneself has many facets and there are many ways in which we can demonstrate this love. The fundamental core of loving ourselves, to me, is about appreciating ourselves and ability to really like ourselves and having an inner unwavering insistence that we deserve good in life. No matter what they say, do or think. And they may be people and events in the past or present. It is in this context of learning to really loving and accepting ourselves, seeing ourselves as worthy of the good we want from life that this inner communication becomes crucial. Remember, we can never go beyond and experience love, success, wealth or recognition that we are unwilling or unable to allow ourselves. To be able to go beyond our ‘stuckness’ and problems, please do take a time, and learn to listen to yourself with a gentle, compassionate and interested attitude of a loving parent.
*Last but not least, for those who are willing to transform their life through transforming their subconscious mind and beliefs, I recommend to check out this app and the author: https://super-ego.info/en/registration/cloudofjoy