You Shine Brighter When You are You!

We have this twisted notion that in order to love somebody we have to forget about ourselves, and that the only way to show love is by putting others first. It is no wonder that many women are feeling lost, empty, confused, frustrated, or simply burnt out. When I ask women why they feel the way they feel, they usually blame “the kids, the husband, the job, the boss, or something else”. It seems like someone or something else often has control over them; over their voice, their thoughts, and even their feelings. Does this sound like you or someone you know? No worries, it is super common and I can offer some suggestions that will help.

1. The Victim (No More)

The first step is to understand that you are not alone. Many women around you feel just the way you do. However, you must be aware of how much you are victimizing yourself. I know that reading this may feel like a cold bucket of water but please listen up. Anytime you blame anyone or anything outside of yourself you automatically give that someone/something the power over you, which in turn makes you a victim. Trust me when I say it is not your fault. For generations now we (women) have been taught that a “good woman” puts everyone else first, which really has nothing to do with being a “good woman” but everything to do with our feminine nature. You can renounce the victim state by taking full responsibility of yourself which is my next point.

2. Responsibility

Taking full responsibility for yourself is inclusive to mind, body, and soul. You must learn what makes you tick, tremble, cry, laugh, scream, close down, or bloom. We women walk this earth feeling entitled to everyone except ourselves. We want everyone to treat us right, love us, respect us, but when have we given that treatment to ourselves? Isn’t it about time? The beauty of taking responsibility is that you automatically chose to take yourself back! Cross off of your brain that you must “treat others the way you want to be treated” (trust me, it hardly works) and replace it with “treat yourself the way you want to be treated”. This right here will free you!

3. Selfishness is bad.

How many times have you heard that taking care of yourself is “selfish”? Or if you happen to go do something nice for yourself your immediate tribe will question you and throw you into a huge guilt trip? The word selfish seems to be a word used to question our capabilities and dedication when the actual meaning of the word is: To lack consideration for others and to be chiefly concerned with one’s personal profit or pleasure. So in other words, every person that has ever called you selfish has pretty much made it clear that you have not had any consideration for them at all. Now please ask yourself; Is this true? If not, then give yourself permission to be self-loving. If the word “selfish” affects you that much then change it to “self-care”

4. You Stopped Growing.

For many years society viewed ambitious and outspoken women as a threat, as undesirables, and out of line. GUESS WHAT? That is no longer the case. In today’s era women from all over the world are making the ground tremble. They are standing up, they are no longer afraid to shine, they are constantly learning and growing, and they are becoming fearless leaders in our society. A woman that practices self-care and gives herself permission to grow is more prone to raise stronger children, maintain healthier relationships, and can serve her community whole heartedly because she is absolutely full and happy. You must never stop growing!

5. Your Environment is Toxic

Here is a crazy thought and the main reason why it is so important to grab a hold of yourself and start finding you again. When you are lost, you are bound to be surrounded by two types of people. Those who are lost just like you (because you understand each other) and those who feed off of your misery (because they feel better when you don’t). Now I don’t know about you, but in my opinion these are people that must be avoided at all cost if you truly want to embark in a healing journey to find yourself again. You can reclaim your identity, your happiness, and your power by clearing all the fog, the fuzz, and the outside noise that surrounds you.

Final Thought

Be sure to create an environment in which you are with yourself, you can hear your own thoughts, and you can start developing a trusting and loving relationship with the real you who is impatiently waiting for you to have the best conversation you’ve ever had! The inner you is so wise and insightful; you really should pay her a visit as soon as possible and leave all that extra noise for the birds… * Be aware.  * Be responsible.  * Practice Self-Care.   * Keep growing mentaly. spiritualy, and emotionaly.  * Detox your environment.  * Be sure to set yourself up for success, Always!