We as humans are social beings, we were not meant to live our lives alone. We create intimate relationships and companionships to fulfill our need to be connected. We nurture these relationships by investing ourselves and dedicating time and energy into them. When it comes to relationships whether friendships, intimate relationships or even situation-ships, there is always a give and take. It normally is not at the same time and it is rarely ever in the same capacity but there is a reciprocity in the energy that we give to each other.
Sometimes we notice that there are signs that something isn’t right. The reciprocity in the relationship is no longer there at all. You are the one making all the calls, all the plans and all the meet ups. And the other person either no longer picks up your calls, flops on plans and refuses to participate in the growth of the relationship.
This is the point where many of us work over time to make the relationship work. We do this because of the longevity or the importance that we have placed on it . We start to give more and more of ourselves hoping that we can bring back the closeness and revive what we once had.
Our history and the memories that we share with the person can make us forget that we deserve better. But there comes a point where you have to look at yourself and remember that you deserve better. You deserve people in your life that will cherish the relationship just as much as you do.
Signs that you deserve better in your relationship.
1. There is no longer an equal investment of energy in the relationship.
2. The person seems to no longer care or cheer on your dreams, goals or accomplishments.
3. The person abuses your trust and loyalty and takes it for granted.
If you see these patterns within your relationship, it is time to step back and revaluate under the pre-tense that you deserve better. This does not mean that you have to end the relationship immediately, but you have to start to have some conversations both with yourself and with the other person. If the other person is receptive and can acknowledge their part in the relationship and take active steps to create a better relationship, then this is a relationship that may just stand the test of time.
In other cases, it does not work out like that and the person either becomes more hostile or more distance. This is a moment where you have to tell yourself that your worth is not found in the other person. The hardest part of getting to this point is the fact that you will still have love in your heart for that person. There is an undeniable truth in those feelings and there will be times when you remember the good times you had and you miss the moments you shared with them. The strength to be able to take this step is the realization that you can love people from a distance. You can wish them well and be happy for all that they accomplish, but for this season you have chosen to love yourself and have decided that at the end of the day you deserve better.