You Do You.

Last month I heard a phrase at a family wedding that really struck me. The phrase was You Do You. I have been thinking about this phrase ever since.

Many times in our lives, we want things to go a certain way. We want our children to be this or that, or act in a particular way. Our expectations of others are often very powerful, causing us to want to see something in another that might not actually be there. We try to mold the other or change the other to be what we want or expect.

When I was much younger, in the midst of raising my children, I remember trying to create what it was that I wanted or expected my children to be, as opposed to seeing who they were. This is important in parenting and in all relationships. What I have learned in my own growth and transformation is that it is far less chaotic and tension-filled to allow the people in my life to just be who they are, rather than trying to mold them like clay. It is not healthy for my children to live an inauthentic life, one that is misaligned with who they truly are.

You Do You is such a great phrase to live by because it offers other people the opportunity to be true and authentic. In a heavily focused social media world, so much of what we see is only what people want us to see, the “picture perfect” moments that one shares. You Do You is an opportunity to step away from what others want or think and just focus on ourselves.

Why am I sharing this? When it comes to our children, I think there are so many expectations that we as parents have daily. We don’t actually behave in a way that says, You Do You. But what if we did? Imagine if we even suggested this to our children and modeled it in our own behaviors. I do not mean allowing children to do anything they want, but, instead, allowing them to be who they want, what speaks to their heart, not what we envision they should be doing.

I believe that this truly reflects a strong affirmation to be you. We all need more encouragement to be who we are meant to be. When we use this phrase in a compassionate and affectionate tone, it truly offers our people freedom – freedom to act or do what people believe feels right for them. To me, this is about encouraging another to do what they want and not care about the judgment or decisions of others. Only they know what is best for them.

When we as parents practice living this way, we are teaching our children through the art of modeling this beautiful way of living life. Our passion for living our lives this way will also help others to pursue what they want for themselves.

When You Do You with love and compassion, not only are you being true to yourself but you are also modeling for your children and family, and the rest of the world how important it is to be yourself, stay true to yourself, and follow your own heart. What does this phrase mean to you? How does You Do You play out in your own life?


  • Sue DeCaro

    Heart-Centered Life and Parent Coach, Worldwide

    Sue is a heart-centered coach, educator, motivational speaker, and International Bestselling Author, working with individuals, corporations, and families around the globe to navigate life’s daily challenges.    While integrating education, consciousness, and coaching, Sue helps individuals to feel empowered, grow and thrive. Her passion is to help people deeply connect to themselves, to their children, and of course, to the world around them, creating a brighter future.   Sue also serves as a member of the Wellness Council for the Unionville-Chadds Ford School District, focused on researching and identifying best practices related to improving student health. She served as a Guest Parent Specialist/Coach for Mindvalley University Training and an esteemed member on the 24-hour virtual help desk support team for month-long summer event in Pula, Croatia, 2019.   Sue has had writings featured in various online publications and magazines. She has presented at events featuring Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Neale Donald Walsch, Marianne Williamson, Anita Moorjani, and John O’Sullivan. Sue has been an invited guest on radio shows and podcasts and has also appeared on Television, on The Dr. Nandi Show as well as a number of appearances on FOX 29, Good Day Philadelphia.