To my little girl mind, she was the light.  I was drawn to Alexis Colby from the show Dynasty like a moth to a flame.  She was everything I wasn’t – powerful.  So powerful that anyone who messed with her, would definitely think twice before doing so again. And to an overweight and silenced little girl, that was gold in its purest form.  I grew up wanting to be Alexis Colby, a force to be reckoned with, a woman who always got revenge on those who betrayed her or did her wrong.  She walked as a giant among ants and had no problem squashing a few in her wake.  She was feared, beautiful and successful.  Everything I wanted to see in myself, in my life but never did.   Alexis Colby became my after college aspiration. I wanted to rule an empire with an iron fist like she did, always have the upper hand like she did, over those who schemed against her, and most importantly always get my revenge and have the last word – like she did.  My childhood often left me vulnerable to the criticisms and mistreatment from others and I didn’t know how to defend myself, nor did I have anyone to defend me.  Wonder Woman was for playtime, Alexis Colby meted out justice. She became the armor I was quickly outfitting myself for.  

I jumped into corporate America right after graduating and found myself stringently incompatible with the office politics and strait jacket attire.  I started volunteering to tutor kids and thought I had found my calling to teach young minds. After ten enjoyable years of teaching high school English, I resigned still seeking my truth.  A truth that finally unfolded a creative self in voice acting.  

Alexis Colby was cold, self centered and destructive –– something that nearly took 20 years for me to realize I wasn’t.  But her impact on me, I will always appreciate. Alexis Colby exhibited to me strength, smarts and a resilience that I still embrace today…just in a vulnerable and transparent way.  I don’t have to get revenge as I am no longer that powerless little girl.  I can be open and vulnerable with myself and others, not allowing the fear of what another can do to derail me.  Alexis Colby was what my little girl self desperately needed. But just like the end of each episode, I’ve let the credits run and end on her reign, permanently.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d still root for Alexis over Crystal any day but I’ve put Alexis Colby where she belongs. Something I needed then, but not now.