As leaders, we’re often taught, explicitly or implicitly, that we’re supposed to know things.
Know the strategy.
Know the numbers.
Know how to fix what’s broken.
Know what to say when someone’s struggling.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned (and continue to re-learn):
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to ask better questions.
The pressure to “know” is real
In high-performing environments, whether it’s sports, business, or anything else, there’s often an unspoken expectation that certainty equals credibility.
That confidence equals competence. That not knowing means you’re not ready, or not good enough.
But in my experience, some of the most powerful leadership moments come not when we provide answers…
…but when we pause long enough to ask a meaningful question.
Curiosity creates connection
When we lead with questions, especially ones rooted in curiosity, humility, and care, we create space:
🔹 For others to feel seen and heard
🔹 For unexpected insights to emerge
🔹 For trust to deepen
It’s in these moments that relationships and teams grow stronger, problems get solved collaboratively, and people feel safe to speak up and contribute.
What kinds of questions matter?
The ones that open, not close. That invite, not assume. That create dialogue, not dominance.
A few that I love:
- “What’s your perspective on this?”
- “Is there anything I’m not seeing?”
- “What do you need most right now?”
- “How can I support you?”
- “What’s getting in the way?”
Questions like these don’t just provide information, they show people that we trust them, value them, and want to understand.
Are you leading with questions, or pressure to perform?
In your leadership, your relationships, your life…
Where might you be carrying the burden of needing to know or fix, when what’s really needed is to ask and listen?
Here’s what helps:
🔹 Trade answers for curiosity. Not knowing isn’t a weakness. It’s often where the best insights begin.
🔹 Resist the urge to solve right away. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “Tell me more.”
🔹 Remember: people don’t need perfect. They need presence. You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room, just the most open one.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to care enough to be curious.
This is where trust is built. This is where teams come alive. This is where real leadership begins.
Remember…we’re all in this together.
What can you do to stop yourself from automatically giving advice and challenging yourself to ask different questions? Share your thoughts, ideas, and questions in the comments below.
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