You get back what you give out.
I had heard this saying so many times.
And then I found myself in the middle of my own Armageddon and I heard it echoing through my mind constantly.
I was thrown into the biggest challenge of my life in less than 60 seconds. Everything I knew about life was gone and for the first time, I had no idea where to turn, or how to go about ‘fixing’ the problem.
And all the while …. ‘You get back what you give out’ … was playing on repeat.
I couldn’t understand it.
I did everything for everyone else. I did nothing for myself.
So why was it that I was being punished?
Did that mean I was really a bad person and I’d been trying to hide it behind good deeds?
It was relentless. It was soul destroying. It was traumatic.
But then I realised that it wasn’t about what I had done. It was about my following other people’s dreams.
I hadn’t been listening to the beat of my own heart. I was so far off my track that it took a massive life event to make me stop and take notice.
The truth is, I knew something wasn’t right. I knew I was unwell. I knew I needed to make some changes. But I was afraid of what making those changes might mean.
When you’re exhausted it feels like making changes is out of your reach.
It felt like I was going to have to change everything to be able to do things differently.
I didn’t think I would have the strength to do it … and the reality was I had no idea where to even start. The overwhelm was real … and it kept me frozen in place.
So, I powered on through life and I waited until I crashed completely.
I waited until something happened that made me feel like I had an excuse to do things differently.
Any then I learned that even when you’re forced to start from scratch in every area of your life, you don’t throw everything away.
There are some parts of your life that are working and that you keep as you move forwards. There are other parts that aren’t working and that need to go. But the majority of the parts just need a few tweaks and they will support you endlessly.
For me, the work was intensive because I waited too long before giving myself the attention I needed.
Along the way I realised that it would have been so much easier, so much gentler on myself if I had simply taken one thing at a time, had a look and then made a few changes.
But if you start now, with just one small thing that you can easily tweak, you can turn your life in a different way.
I’ve found that often it’s the small tweaks that make the most significant impact.
Your life isn’t actually out of control; it’s just that you’ve spent too much time asking other people for your answers.
And every time you do what someone else tells you is the right thing for you, you start to live their life instead of your own.
The more you do this, the more disconnected you become from yourself … and that’s when it feels like everything is running away from you.
My advice? Start today … start now! Just one small tweak and you’ll be on your way.
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