I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone bash their former relationships. Do not get me wrong I have done so myself and there is no reason not to do it especially if it winds up with you being hurt or depressed. Relationships are hard and it takes a while to get to know someone for who they are and to gain a respect for each other. This year has brought on a lot of hindsight thoughts for me and I am sure for a lot of you. 2021, I thought was going to be a brand-new year of new life, new excitement, and joy. For me it has been anything but. I just recently found out an ex of mine was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic melanoma and to be honest I have been a wreck.

This ex was my first love, my first boyfriend, the first person who literally turned me into someone I had always desired to be but only felt the need to become for him. The feeling was so weird and lasted for years. He was my first boyfriend. At the age of 16, yes, I realize that seems a little late nowadays but that is when it happened. He was amazing, a great friend, and so funny. I can remember him carry around a 6-foot cardboard cut out of Legolas, you know, the elf from those Lord of the Ring’s movies. I have never seen anyone look that confident carry a sexy elf around ever.

We had some amazing times together. We did not date for long, but we had an amazing relationship for years which still lasts to this day. He was always my go to when I had problems and was always there when I needed some suggestions on how to make myself look good. For years on and off we had experienced such amazing things together and I would not change that for the world. Have you ever had that sort of relationship with someone?

The relationship growth from friends to lovers, and lovers to friends is such an amazing thing. My heart aches for what is to come. Though I will not say his name, he knows who he is and so do many of you. He will always have my heart as a friend and as a love. There is something to be said for someone who stays in your head and your heart for years and that is a hard bond to break.

I love you forever and forever will you be in my heart.

Do not take your past relationships for granted. There are some that will end poorly where emotions get played with and hearts get broken, but we can all grow from them. Keep hold of those who have held your heart fore you do not know where the future will take you and what relationships you will need to keep going.