The head of any parent never for a second leaves the question: how to support children, while also improving relations with them? If John Lennon is right and life is what happens to you while you make entirely different plans, then parenthood is what happens when everything around you turns upside down, breaks down and spills, and you can find either a towel, neither a sponge nor your inner voice.
We are giving you ten tips on how to be the best parent for your children. The best parents are consistent, persistent, and invariably determined to take the necessary actions every day, day after day.
1. Always put your family first
Probably the simplest and most useful thing to do when you have children is to start planning personal affairs in your daily routine and do everything related to work in between. Plan family life first, setting aside time on the calendar for all important dates and periods, from holidays to birthdays, and vacations.
2. Ensure your full presence
One of the truths that children teach us is that you cannot be near a child while thinking about another place. You cannot play dinosaurs with your child while thinking about your business; this does not work. You must completely stay with your baby, keeping aside your work and giving priority to your child.
When the children run up to you, and you have a mobile phone in your hand, it separates you like a wall. What do your children think when they look at you, and you look at the gadget? Be prepared to abandon all unnecessary things completely when you’re with your child; be ready to be fully present, look into the eyes of children, and listen to what they say.
3. Reformulate the question
Situations are not the same when you have a child in your life. Children cry, and they are naughty most of the time because this is their age to be naughty and to enjoy their childhood to the fullest. Try this tactic – show empathy and ask a motivating question. When the child complains, say: “It looks like you are upset. What do you want to do? And how to make it fun and easy?” Try to create a feeling of light, joy, and a positive attitude.
4. Teach children to learn
Teach your children various useful things that will be useful to them at school and in their future adulthood. The book Cheaper by the Dozen (“Cheaper by the Volume”) tells how the father of twelve children makes them listen to records in foreign languages and do other similar things while they brush their teeth. His children are learning continuously. Try to do the same for your children.
Those who can learn have a massive advantage over the rest.
5. Respect the mother of your children
Respect and trust are the two pillars of relationships between people. Always behave respectfully with each other. Tell the children how wonderful their mother is. Of course, spouses will always have unpleasant qualities, but for education, it is crucial to focus only on the positive. It teaches children to show respect to other people.
6. Teach children respect for people
Feeling a kinship with another person is much more beautiful than condemning or disdaining him. By doing wrong, you show yourself from the bad side. Teach children, even in case of disagreement, to try to understand a person, and not to judge them.
7. Maintain energy
There are many moments of uncertainty, rejection, denial, and disappointment in parenting. Parenting takes a lot of energy, and at times it is impossible to get around this condition.
On good days, successful parenthood requires energy, enthusiasm, and perseverance, and challenging days, you need to be more positive.
You can have the best children in the world, the best husband or wife, and the best action plan for the day, but if you don’t have the energy to take advantage of all these benefits, it’s better to be prepared for something to go wrong. Learn to keep energy high.
8. Develop a love of reading
As a parent, you must do everything possible so that books and the great joy of reading become an integral part of your child’s life experience. No one can encourage him to read better than you. And no other skill that you teach him, and no other your gift or present will ever be even approximately as meaningful. And the best way to make a child an avid book reader for life is to become him yourself.
9. Learn to handle money
Teach children to save and earn money, and to spend the money wisely. By teaching children the proper handling of money, you show them family values, so be sure to talk to them about it, do not play silence.
You can use the rule 70/30: 70 percent of children’s pocket money goes to different expenses and 10 percent they save. Another 10 percent goes to invest, and the remaining 10 they give for noble purposes. You can have 4 separate envelopes so as not to mix anything up.
10. Focus on the important
If you have a choice – to unload the dishwasher, do the laundry or read and play with the children, remind yourself that the household chores are endless.
Children are unlikely to remember the impeccably neat shelves in cabinets or the cleanest kitchen floor. Still, they will remember how you asked them about how the day went, or how you defiantly turned off your mobile phone to watch an exciting movie together.
If we all make only positive changes in the world where our children live, it will become better as much as possible.
These tips are unlikely to make you an ideal parent. But they will help you find yourself and become a role model and the best parent for your children.